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  • DistroMan 20:00 on September 3, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 24: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 24 of 40

    The Covenant Confirmed

    1 Then he said to Moses, “Come up to the LORD, you and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel. You are to worship at a distance,

    Oh, look at me, I’m so great, I’m so good, so powerful and you should bow down before me and say nice things about me.  Freaking narcissist.  Can you get any worse?

    2 but Moses alone is to approach the LORD; the others must not come near. And the people may not come up with him.”

    Why? Don’t you want anyone to see your strings and mirrors?

    3 When Moses went and told the people all the LORD’s words and laws, they responded with one voice, “Everything the LORD has said we will do.”

    We will do all that the Lord has said because we would poop our pants if he got angry with us.  :)

    4 Moses then wrote down everything the LORD had said.
    He got up early the next morning and built an altar at the foot of the mountain and set up twelve stone pillars representing the twelve tribes of Israel.

    Where are these words now?  Where are the scrolls if that was what was used?

    5 Then he sent young Israelite men, and they offered burnt offerings and sacrificed young bulls as fellowship offerings to the LORD.

    I’d like to know what god does with all this food? Considering the people have to go without, it would need to be put to better use than just being tossed aside after God gets his jollies.

    6 Moses took half of the blood and put it in bowls, and the other half he sprinkled on the altar.

    That would be a good way to introduce virus and bacteria to those who came to the altar.

    7 Then he took the Book of the Covenant and read it to the people. They responded, “We will do everything the LORD has said; we will obey.”

    Stand up for yourselves and tell him to bugger off.

    8 Moses then took the blood, sprinkled it on the people and said, “This is the blood of the covenant that the LORD has made with you in accordance with all these words.”

    Why blood?  Can’t you lot do anything without the taking of innocent lives?

    9 Moses and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and the seventy elders of Israel went up

    Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it’s up the mountain we go…

    10 and saw the God of Israel. Under his feet was something like a pavement made of sapphire, clear as the sky itself.

    How did he appear?  Was he a burning bush this time? Or maybe he was a flea ridden, pus covered camel?

    11 But God did not raise his hand against these leaders of the Israelites; they saw God, and they ate and drank.

    12 The LORD said to Moses, “Come up to me on the mountain and stay here, and I will give you the tablets of stone, with the law and commands I have written for their instruction.”

    Ah, God wrote the tablets?  Did he use a hammer and chisel or did he just zap them into existence?

    13 Then Moses set out with Joshua his aide, and Moses went up on the mountain of God.

    God didn’t say to bring Joshua.

    14 He said to the elders, “Wait here for us until we come back to you. Aaron and Hur are with you, and anyone involved in a dispute can go to them.”

    15 When Moses went up on the mountain, the cloud covered it,

    16 and the glory of the LORD settled on Mount Sinai. For six days the cloud covered the mountain, and on the seventh day the LORD called to Moses from within the cloud.

    17 To the Israelites the glory of the LORD looked like a consuming fire on top of the mountain.

    18 Then Moses entered the cloud as he went on up the mountain. And he stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights.

    Forty day and forty nights without food? Sure sure.

    << Exodus 23 Index Exodus 25>>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on September 2, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 23: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 23 of 40

    Laws of Justice and Mercy

    1 “Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness.

    Good.

    2 “Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd,

    Good.

    3 and do not show favoritism to a poor man in his lawsuit.

    Unless he is in the right.

    4 “If you come across your enemy’s ox or donkey wandering off, be sure to take it back to him.

    You can make laws about wandering donkeys, but not about treating females with dignity and equality?

    5 If you see the donkey of someone who hates you fallen down under its load, do not leave it there; be sure you help him with it.

    Good, but I still wonder why you spend your time on such small things instead of fixing the big things.

    6 “Do not deny justice to your poor people in their lawsuits.

    Good.

    7 Have nothing to do with a false charge and do not put an innocent or honest person to death, for I will not acquit the guilty.

    You’ve put more innocents to death than mankind has killed the guilty.  Hypocrite.

    8 “Do not accept a bribe, for a bribe blinds those who see and twists the words of the righteous.

    Good.

    9 “Do not oppress an alien; you yourselves know how it feels to be aliens, because you were aliens in Egypt.

    Then why didn’t you tell the Egyptians how to treat people so that this didn’t happen?

    Sabbath Laws

    10 “For six years you are to sow your fields and harvest the crops,

    Leaving 1/7th of the field lie fallow each year and continuing to crop the rest would be a better idea.

    11 but during the seventh year let the land lie unplowed and unused. Then the poor among your people may get food from it, and the wild animals may eat what they leave. Do the same with your vineyard and your olive grove.

    The wild animals are not going to benefit from having a lot to eat every 7 years.  Having a little more each year is better.

    12 “Six days do your work, but on the seventh day do not work, so that your ox and your donkey may rest and the slave born in your household, and the alien as well, may be refreshed.

    Why not say that slavery is wrong?

    13 “Be careful to do everything I have said to you. Do not invoke the names of other gods; do not let them be heard on your lips.

    You admit there are other gods besides you?

    The Three Annual Festivals

    14 “Three times a year you are to celebrate a festival to me.

    That’s a little bigheaded of you.

    15 “Celebrate the Feast of Unleavened Bread; for seven days eat bread made without yeast, as I commanded you. Do this at the appointed time in the month of Abib, for in that month you came out of Egypt.
    “No one is to appear before me empty-handed.

    You call eating unleaved bread a festival?

    16 “Celebrate the Feast of Harvest with the firstfruits of the crops you sow in your field.
    “Celebrate the Feast of Ingathering at the end of the year, when you gather in your crops from the field.

    So how come we celebrate so many more than these?  If you only want three, you’d think your followers would obey.  Maybe you don’t have the power you ascribe to yourself.

    17 “Three times a year all the men are to appear before the Sovereign LORD.

    You can see them all the time, so what is the point?

    18 “Do not offer the blood of a sacrifice to me along with anything containing yeast.
    “The fat of my festival offerings must not be kept until morning.

    Are you ever going to explain why you have a problem with yeast?

    19 “Bring the best of the firstfruits of your soil to the house of the LORD your God.
    “Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk.

    When you don’t eat, what is the point of taking their food?

    God’s Angel to Prepare the Way

    20 “See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.

    The desert isn’t all that big, so why did you have them wander around in it for so long when you could have taken them direct to where you want them? Why make them suffer so many hardships when you didn’t have to?

    21 Pay attention to him and listen to what he says. Do not rebel against him; he will not forgive your rebellion, since my Name is in him.

    Is your name faeces?  Is it bile?  How about snot?  Maybe it’s pus!!!

    22 If you listen carefully to what he says and do all that I say, I will be an enemy to your enemies and will oppose those who oppose you.

    Why not make those people into nice amiable types so that everyone can live together in harmony?

    23 My angel will go ahead of you and bring you into the land of the Amorites, Hittites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hivites and Jebusites, and I will wipe them out.

    Bloodthirsty mongrel you are!!!

    24 Do not bow down before their gods or worship them or follow their practices. You must demolish them and break their sacred stones to pieces.

    You don’t really care about the Israelites. You are just using them to further your own agenda.

    25 Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you,

    Why not for everyone on the planet?

    26 and none will miscarry or be barren in your land. I will give you a full life span.

    If that was so, then everyone would die at exactly the same age and that did not happen at all.

    27 “I will send my terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation you encounter. I will make all your enemies turn their backs and run.

    Encountering people does not make them an enemy.  Why make their lives such a misery?  Thankfully you are only a mythical being, because if you weren’t I’d have to hate you with every fibre of my being.  I’ve never in my life heard of such an uncaring, bloodthirsty, lying, genocidal son of a bitch as you.

    28 I will send the hornet ahead of you to drive the Hivites, Canaanites and Hittites out of your way.

    Making the innocent suffer yet again.

    29 But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you.

    All to further your own agenda as usual.

    30 Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land.

    Why not just let them all live together peacefully?

    31 “I will establish your borders from the Red Sea  to the Sea of the Philistines, and from the desert to the River.

    You could have just had them created in that land in the beginning and saved all this hardship and misery for others.

    32 Do not make a covenant with them or with their gods.

    So, you really don’t want peace.  Making a covenant with them would have been the right thing.

    33 Do not let them live in your land, or they will cause you to sin against me, because the worship of their gods will certainly be a snare to you.” I will hand over to you the people who live in the land and you will drive them out before you.

    If you just showed compassion and love for all, then they wouldn’t want other gods.  They would all flock to you.  Laughable in the extreme.

    << Exodus 22      Index      Exodus 24>>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on September 1, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 22: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 22 of 40

    Protection of Property

    1 “If a man steals an ox or a sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he must pay back five head of cattle for the ox and four sheep for the sheep.

    God has time to dick around making laws regarding theft of livestock?

    2 “If a thief is caught breaking in and is struck so that he dies, the defender is not guilty of bloodshed;

    Even if it could be proven that death was unnecessary and the thief could have been apprehended without harm?

    3 but if it happens after sunrise, he is guilty of bloodshed.  “A thief must certainly make restitution, but if he has nothing, he must be sold to pay for his theft.

    If it’s dark it’s alright to murder? Selling someone is slavery and wrong at any time and place.

    4 “If the stolen animal is found alive in his possession—whether ox or donkey or sheep—he must pay back double.

    It still makes no sense that a god would bother itself with laws of this kind.

    5 “If a man grazes his livestock in a field or vineyard and lets them stray and they graze in another man’s field, he must make restitution from the best of his own field or vineyard.

    6 “If a fire breaks out and spreads into thornbushes so that it burns shocks of grain or standing grain or the whole field, the one who started the fire must make restitution.

    7 “If a man gives his neighbor silver or goods for safekeeping and they are stolen from the neighbor’s house, the thief, if he is caught, must pay back double.

    8 But if the thief is not found, the owner of the house must appear before the judges to determine whether he has laid his hands on the other man’s property.

    9 In all cases of illegal possession of an ox, a donkey, a sheep, a garment, or any other lost property about which somebody says, ‘This is mine,’ both parties are to bring their cases before the judges. The one whom the judges declare guilty must pay back double to his neighbor.

    10 “If a man gives a donkey, an ox, a sheep or any other animal to his neighbor for safekeeping and it dies or is injured or is taken away while no one is looking,

    11 the issue between them will be settled by the taking of an oath before the LORD that the neighbor did not lay hands on the other person’s property. The owner is to accept this, and no restitution is required.

    Easy way of getting around being a criminal. Just lie.

    12 But if the animal was stolen from the neighbor, he must make restitution to the owner.

    Not if he takes the oath.

    13 If it was torn to pieces by a wild animal, he shall bring in the remains as evidence and he will not be required to pay for the torn animal.

    14 “If a man borrows an animal from his neighbor and it is injured or dies while the owner is not present, he must make restitution.

    Not if he takes the oath.

    15 But if the owner is with the animal, the borrower will not have to pay. If the animal was hired, the money paid for the hire covers the loss.

    Social Responsibility

    16 “If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.

    What? No thought for what the woman might want? Silly me. I should have known better.  This is the bible, of course they don’t care.

    17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.

    Which is?

    18 “Do not allow a sorceress to live.

    Now this is good. God makes laws regarding witches?  Magic is just as mythical as he is so it shouldn’t surprise anyone.  BUT, if there were such things as witches, then God himself must have created them.  Why would he do such a thing? Freakin’ moron.

    19 “Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death.

    It might be ‘icky’ and gross, but death? You do love a drop of blood don’t you!!!

    20 “Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed.

    How can they if you are the only god? You contradict yourself.  Gotta say it.  MORON!!

    21 “Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt.

    It never bothered you to mistreat anyone or have your people mistreat others before.

    22 “Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan.

    Cool, I like this one.

    23 If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.

    But will you do anything about it?  It seems not or there wouldn’t be so many orphan kids being raped by your guys in frocks.

    24 My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.

    You don’t use swords. You get others to use them. Also, if it’s not good to take advantage of widows and orphans, why are you so in favour of creating them yourself?

    25 “If you lend money to one of my people among you who is needy, do not be like a moneylender; charge him no interest.

    Show me where that guy is and I’ll go borrow money off him.  :)

    26 If you take your neighbor’s cloak as a pledge, return it to him by sunset,

    What if he hasn’t fulfilled his pledge by that time?

    27 because his cloak is the only covering he has for his body. What else will he sleep in? When he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate.

    So anyone that gives a cloak as a pledge mustn’t have any other clothes? Is this also some kind of law?  What happens if he does have other clothes and tries to give his cloak as a pledge?  Will he be unable to do so?  Oh, compassionate? You? It was compassionate to kill all those Egyptians by drowning them was it?

    28 “Do not blaspheme God or curse the ruler of your people.

    Or what?  Screw you and screw all our leaders.  Waiting…

    29 “Do not hold back offerings from your granaries or your vats. “You must give me the firstborn of your sons.

    Done!  He’s yours.

    30 Do the same with your cattle and your sheep. Let them stay with their mothers for seven days, but give them to me on the eighth day.

    For what?  You do sheep?

    31 “You are to be my holy people. So do not eat the meat of an animal torn by wild beasts; throw it to the dogs.

    Bugger, no road kill either I suppose.

    << Exodus 21 Index Exodus 23>>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 31, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 21: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 21 of 40

    1 “These are the laws you are to set before them:

    Hebrew Servants

    2 “If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything.

    This is not a servant.  It is slavery and not something that a ‘good’ person would wish upon a fellow human being.

    3 If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him.

    So generous of you.

    4 If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free.

    Anyone who makes laws regarding the buying, trading or selling of slaves is as much a slaver trader/dealer as the person doing the trading/dealing and should be treated as such.  You, if you were real, are an abhorent being and not deserving of respect or obedience.

    5 “But if the servant declares, ‘I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,’

    I could imagine someone saying that if they really loved their wife or the alternative would be worse, but slavery is still one of the worst crimes humanity has the ignominy of having committed.  It is a shameful act and for it to be promoted and accepted by a so-called god, is despicable.

    6 then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life.

    A mark of ownership on a human being is also an abhorent practice.

    7 “If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as menservants do.

    Another example of God’s mysoginistic attitude towards women and girls.

    8 If she does not please the master who has selected her for himself, he must let her be redeemed. He has no right to sell her to foreigners, because he has broken faith with her.

    It’s still trading in human flesh no matter how much you try and make out you dress it up with ‘protective’ rules.

    9 If he selects her for his son, he must grant her the rights of a daughter.

    Still wrong.  A female is and should not be ‘selected’ like a beast of burden.

    10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.

    With gender populations being close to 50/50 bigamy is a bad practice.  It will only work in a society where some males are deprived of the right to marry. Slavery is one cause of such a situation.

    11 If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.

    She should be free to do what she wishes by default and not rely on the vagaries of morons like this.

    Personal Injuries

    12 “Anyone who strikes a man and kills him shall surely be put to death.

    If mankind has been able to overcome this unconscienable act in most parts of the world, you would think a god would know better.

    13 However, if he does not do it intentionally, but God lets it happen, he is to flee to a place I will designate.

    Just how does a person prove you let it happen?

    14 But if a man schemes and kills another man deliberately, take him away from my altar and put him to death.

    15 “Anyone who attacks his father or his mother must be put to death.

    16 “Anyone who kidnaps another and either sells him or still has him when he is caught must be put to death.

    Then why did you not put Joseph’s brothers to death?  Not in your interests?  Hypocrisy.

    17 “Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.

    There would hardly be a person left alive if this was true.

    18 “If men quarrel and one hits the other with a stone or with his fist and he does not die but is confined to bed,

    Then they should find a way to settle their differences and think themselves lucky.

    19 the one who struck the blow will not be held responsible if the other gets up and walks around outside with his staff; however, he must pay the injured man for the loss of his time and see that he is completely healed.

    That is being held responsible.

    20 “If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished,

    He should not have a slave in the first place.

    21 but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property.

    No man or woman or child is the property of another human being.

    22 “If men who are fighting hit a pregnant woman and she gives birth prematurely but there is no serious injury, the offender must be fined whatever the woman’s husband demands and the court allows.

    People had these kinds of laws before God came along.

    23 But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life,

    Bloodthirsty bastard.

    24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot,

    Must I repeat myself?

    25 burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.

    As I said…

    26 “If a man hits a manservant or maidservant in the eye and destroys it, he must let the servant go free to compensate for the eye.

    Slavery is wrong.  They should be punished just for having slaves.

    27 And if he knocks out the tooth of a manservant or maidservant, he must let the servant go free to compensate for the tooth.

    28 “If a bull gores a man or a woman to death, the bull must be stoned to death, and its meat must not be eaten. But the owner of the bull will not be held responsible.

    An animal killing a human being is not the same as a human killing a human. There is no justification for stoning anyone or anything, but doing it to an animal is so cruel it boggles the imagination that a god could say it is alright.

    29 If, however, the bull has had the habit of goring and the owner has been warned but has not kept it penned up and it kills a man or woman, the bull must be stoned and the owner also must be put to death.

    Ok, kill the bull if it has become a danger, but there is no need to stone it.  That is inhumane behaviour.

    30 However, if payment is demanded of him, he may redeem his life by paying whatever is demanded.

    31 This law also applies if the bull gores a son or daughter.

    32 If the bull gores a male or female slave, the owner must pay thirty shekels of silver to the master of the slave, and the bull must be stoned.

    These are moronic laws. (yes I do like using the word ‘moron’)  :)

    33 “If a man uncovers a pit or digs one and fails to cover it and an ox or a donkey falls into it,

    34 the owner of the pit must pay for the loss; he must pay its owner, and the dead animal will be his.

    What if another person falls into it?

    35 “If a man’s bull injures the bull of another and it dies, they are to sell the live one and divide both the money and the dead animal equally.

    It would be better to swap animals.  Why should the owner of the dead bull lose out?

    36 However, if it was known that the bull had the habit of goring, yet the owner did not keep it penned up, the owner must pay, animal for animal, and the dead animal will be his.

    That is how it should have been in the first place.

    Quite honestly a god would not make idiotic laws like this.  This is man made and bereft of any real justice whatsoever.  Man himself has done a much better job of making laws since this time and we’re getting better at it.

    << Exodus 20      Index      Exodus 22>>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 30, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 20: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 20 of 40

    The Ten Commandments

    1 And God spoke all these words:

    So you say.

    2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

    A land of slavery that you created.

    3 “You shall have no other gods before me.

    This makes no sense whatsover unless there are other gods.

    4 “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.

    As usual, no explanation.  This is a stupid commandment anyway.

    5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

    Oh wow, I’m so impressed by someone who would punish so many innocent descendants for the non crime of one person. This mythical god has delusions of grandeur folks.

    6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.

    Let’s look at this logically. What happens to the 1001st generation that still love him?  Are they toast even though they didn’t do anything wrong? Also, what if someone, say, the 500th generation does something bad? Are they still loved? Mr Spock would have a field day with this one.

    7 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

    Does this refer to ‘LORD’ or ‘God’ or ‘Yahweh’ or one of the other names he uses willy nilly?  It also sounds a little childish. We were all brought up with ‘Stick and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me’. Is this god so precious that he can’t take it?  Freakin big wuss!!!

    8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.

    This is a stupid commandment because it puts too much pressure on people to be ready by having to secure enough supplies in a shorter period of time.  This isn’t easy in a large portion of this planet.  Why place such hardship on people?

    9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work,

    If you happen to get behind due to sickness and are at risk of losing everything if you don’t work on the ‘sabbath’, it’s just tough for you?  Sheer bloody-mindedness on his part.

    10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates.

    I could understand this if the planet was all the same and the people could sustain themselves without the hardships placed upon them by being forced to live in desert areas. Think about it. You place people in that area, then force them to wander the desert for 40 years knowing all the time how hard it is to gather enough food.  Why not do this in a more temperate region with more supplies?

    11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

    He’s omnipotent!!  He can do whatever he likes in a millisecond or shorter.

    12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.

    These commandments only apply to the Israelites though. What use are they to anybody else?  Would I live longer in the land God gave to the Israelites if I’m not one of them?

    13 “You shall not murder.

    I think that was a no no well before you stuck your big nose into things.

    14 “You shall not commit adultery.

    But having multiple wives and concubines seems to be ok for your people. Hypocrite!!!

    15 “You shall not steal.

    Again, this is something everyone knew already.

    16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

    Lying also has been wrong long before God.

    17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”

    This is a thought crime and one of the worst things about the bible.

    18 When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance

    I wouldn’t blame them.  This guy is a bloodthirsty monster.

    19 and said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.”

    Living in fear and anxiety all your life does not sound like a good way to spend what is a very short time on this planet.

    20 Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”

    Fear does not keep people from sinning. Rule by fear is repression and only leads to revolt.

    21 The people remained at a distance, while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was.

    The poor buggers were scared shitless and  you can’t blame them after seeing God’s handiwork with the Egyptians.

    Idols and Altars

    22 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites this: ‘You have seen for yourselves that I have spoken to you from heaven:

    No, you spoke to them from a smoke cloud on a mountain.

    23 Do not make any gods to be alongside me; do not make for yourselves gods of silver or gods of gold.

    This would be idols, not gods and jealousy is equivalent to coveting and is a sin.  God just sinned.  He should be punished.

    24 ” ‘Make an altar of earth for me and sacrifice on it your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, your sheep and goats and your cattle. Wherever I cause my name to be honored, I will come to you and bless you.

    As the good seem to die of the same things as the bad and the bad live better lives than some of the good and faithful, you seem to be a rather ineffective deity.  If you were real and actually made a difference other than scaring the crap out of people and ripping them off, then things would be different.  As you don’t do anything for anyone, you are irrelevant.  Bugger off!!!

    25 If you make an altar of stones for me, do not build it with dressed stones, for you will defile it if you use a tool on it.

    When has anyone ever seen an altar that was not made with tools?  Churches the world over have defiled you.  Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

    26 And do not go up to my altar on steps, lest your nakedness be exposed on it.’

    Hey, I signed my marriage certificate on the altar.  Does that mean I flashed myself to all the wedding guests?  Cool  :)

    << Exodus 19      Index      Exodus 21>>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 29, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 19: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 19 of 40

    At Mount Sinai

    1 In the third month after the Israelites left Egypt—on the very day—they came to the Desert of Sinai.

    2 After they set out from Rephidim, they entered the Desert of Sinai, and Israel camped there in the desert in front of the mountain.

    3 Then Moses went up to God, and the LORD called to him from the mountain and said, “This is what you are to say to the house of Jacob and what you are to tell the people of Israel:

    4 ‘You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself.

    5 Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine,

    Why?

    6 you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.’ These are the words you are to speak to the Israelites.”

    That’s a good reason not to listen.

    7 So Moses went back and summoned the elders of the people and set before them all the words the LORD had commanded him to speak.

    8 The people all responded together, “We will do everything the LORD has said.” So Moses brought their answer back to the LORD.

    Suckups!!!

    9 The LORD said to Moses, “I am going to come to you in a dense cloud, so that the people will hear me speaking with you and will always put their trust in you.” Then Moses told the LORD what the people had said.

    10 And the LORD said to Moses, “Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow. Have them wash their clothes

    11 and be ready by the third day, because on that day the LORD will come down on Mount Sinai in the sight of all the people.

    12 Put limits for the people around the mountain and tell them, ‘Be careful that you do not go up the mountain or touch the foot of it. Whoever touches the mountain shall surely be put to death.

    I suppose that if you were performing some kind of magic trick to fool the people into thinking you were talking to God, that keeping them at a safe distance would make it easier to fool them. I really don’t see why this was necessary. If we accept that is was God, it still makes no sense.  Why would he need to keep them at a distance if he was only going to manifest as a dense cloud of smoke?

    13 He shall surely be stoned or shot with arrows; not a hand is to be laid on him. Whether man or animal, he shall not be permitted to live.’ Only when the ram’s horn sounds a long blast may they go up to the mountain.”

    Nasty, nasty, nasty. Death for something so simple.  Why not just appear above them in the air so there is no chance of anyone coming close?  It seems that it is just another way to tempt people into doing something he doesn’t like so he can take their lives.

    14 After Moses had gone down the mountain to the people, he consecrated them, and they washed their clothes.

    15 Then he said to the people, “Prepare yourselves for the third day. Abstain from sexual relations.”

    Why such an overblown preoccupation with their sex lives?

    16 On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. Everyone in the camp trembled.

    17 Then Moses led the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain.

    18 Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the LORD descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, the whole mountain trembled violently,

    19 and the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder. Then Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him.

    20 The LORD descended to the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain. So Moses went up

    21 and the LORD said to him, “Go down and warn the people so they do not force their way through to see the LORD and many of them perish.

    22 Even the priests, who approach the LORD, must consecrate themselves, or the LORD will break out against them.”

    A benevolent god would not hold themselves up so high that others have to lose their lives to satisfy their bloodlust.

    23 Moses said to the LORD, “The people cannot come up Mount Sinai, because you yourself warned us, ‘Put limits around the mountain and set it apart as holy.’ “

    An omnipotent god would not need reminding.

    24 The LORD replied, “Go down and bring Aaron up with you. But the priests and the people must not force their way through to come up to the LORD, or he will break out against them.”

    Blah, blah, blah.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

    25 So Moses went down to the people and told them.

    God said to stay here or he’ll kill ya’s all!!!  Got it?   :)

    << Exodus 18 Index      Exodus 20>>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 28, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 18: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 18 of 40

    Jethro Visits Moses

    1 Now Jethro, the priest of Midian and father-in-law of Moses, heard of everything God had done for Moses and for his people Israel, and how the LORD had brought Israel out of Egypt.

    2 After Moses had sent away his wife Zipporah, his father-in-law Jethro received her

    3 and her two sons. One son was named Gershom, for Moses said, “I have become an alien in a foreign land”;

    4 and the other was named Eliezer, for he said, “My father’s God was my helper; he saved me from the sword of Pharaoh.”

    5 Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, together with Moses’ sons and wife, came to him in the desert, where he was camped near the mountain of God.

    6 Jethro had sent word to him, “I, your father-in-law Jethro, am coming to you with your wife and her two sons.”

    7 So Moses went out to meet his father-in-law and bowed down and kissed him. They greeted each other and then went into the tent.

    8 Moses told his father-in-law about everything the LORD had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for Israel’s sake and about all the hardships they had met along the way and how the LORD had saved them.

    First, I would like to hear what is so special about the Israelites that they should be protected and everyone else persecuted endlessly.

    9 Jethro was delighted to hear about all the good things the LORD had done for Israel in rescuing them from the hand of the Egyptians.

    10 He said, “Praise be to the LORD, who rescued you from the hand of the Egyptians and of Pharaoh, and who rescued the people from the hand of the Egyptians.

    Still nobody is saying why.

    11 Now I know that the LORD is greater than all other gods, for he did this to those who had treated Israel arrogantly.”

    Because God allowed it.

    12 Then Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, brought a burnt offering and other sacrifices to God, and Aaron came with all the elders of Israel to eat bread with Moses’ father-in-law in the presence of God.

    13 The next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening.

    14 When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, “What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?”

    15 Moses answered him, “Because the people come to me to seek God’s will.

    One word.  Gullible.

    16 Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and laws.”

    17 Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good.

    18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone.

    19 Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him.

    20 Teach them the decrees and laws, and show them the way to live and the duties they are to perform.

    Hey, that sounded reasonable.  I’m confused.  I’m not used to that with the bible.

    21 But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens.

    Rule by fear.  God is not so great.

    22 Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you.

    23 If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied.”

    24 Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said.

    25 He chose capable men from all Israel and made them leaders of the people, officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens.

    26 They served as judges for the people at all times. The difficult cases they brought to Moses, but the simple ones they decided themselves.

    27 Then Moses sent his father-in-law on his way, and Jethro returned to his own country.

    Now even though that is a reasonable thing to do, it is also something that every people on this planet have come up with as matter of course.  I am still yet to come up with one thing in this book that makes it in any way special or of value as a guide for leading a good life.

    << Exodus 17 Index Exodus 19>>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 27, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 17: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 17 of 40

    Water From the Rock

    1 The whole Israelite community set out from the Desert of Sin, traveling from place to place as the LORD commanded. They camped at Rephidim, but there was no water for the people to drink.

    2 So they quarreled with Moses and said, “Give us water to drink.” Moses replied, “Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you put the LORD to the test?”

    That is Moses calling himself the Lord.  Or is it very bad translation again?

    3 But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?”

    Reasonable people with reasonable minds would ask ‘what can we do about this problem’.  But no, not this lot.  They go for the throat first.

    4 Then Moses cried out to the LORD, “What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me.”

    5 The LORD answered Moses, “Walk on ahead of the people. Take with you some of the elders of Israel and take in your hand the staff with which you struck the Nile, and go.

    6 I will stand there before you by the rock at Horeb. Strike the rock, and water will come out of it for the people to drink.” So Moses did this in the sight of the elders of Israel.

    Just once I’d like to see some evidence for these so-called miracles.  There isn’t even evidence that the event took place other than the ramblings offered in the bible.

    7 And he called the place Massah and Meribah because the Israelites quarreled and because they tested the LORD saying, “Is the LORD among us or not?”

    The Amalekites Defeated

    8 The Amalekites came and attacked the Israelites at Rephidim.

    Ok, we’ll go through this again.  God is supposed to be all-powerful and all-knowing.  Therefore he knew the Amalekites would be coming to attack, so why did he allow it?  What is his problem?

    9 Moses said to Joshua, “Choose some of our men and go out to fight the Amalekites. Tomorrow I will stand on top of the hill with the staff of God in my hands.”

    10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill.

    11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.

    This is happening without God having said anything, so where did Moses get this ability to control the staff of God without authority?

    12 When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.

    13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

    Whereas it all could have been avoided with no loss of life on either side if God had have willed it.

    14 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it, because I will completely blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven.”

    Reason?

    15 Moses built an altar and called it The LORD is my Banner.

    16 He said, “For hands were lifted up to the throne of the LORD. The LORD will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation.”

    Just shows once again that we aren’t all his people.

    << Exodus 16      Index      Exodus 18 >>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 26, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 16: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 16 of 40

    Manna and Quail

    1 The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt.

    600 thousand men?  Let’s assume 1 woman per and we have 1.2 million.  How about a couple of kids each and we get to 2.4 million people.  Their flocks we have had to have been bigger again, so 2.4 million people and what, say 5 million animals and I’m being conservative in my numbers.  That has to leave one huge trail of rubbish and faeces.  Then you have to think about how big an area 2.4 million people take up when encamped.  How long, once they’ve started out each morning, does it take for the rear of the troop to make it to where the front started from?

    2 In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron.

    Remembering the numbers, that has to be one huge sound.

    3 The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”

    Anyone with even half their brain working would have asked some serious questions about aquisition of food supplies for such a large group, but no, not this lot.

    4 Then the LORD said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.

    I’ll even take away the point four and leave it at 2 million.  How does anyone gather enough in a desert for 2 million people?  Each day?

    5 On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.”

    This is plain bloody ridiculous.  As if it wasn’t preposterous before!!!

    6 So Moses and Aaron said to all the Israelites, “In the evening you will know that it was the LORD who brought you out of Egypt,

    7 and in the morning you will see the glory of the LORD, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we, that you should grumble against us?”

    8 Moses also said, “You will know that it was the LORD when he gives you meat to eat in the evening and all the bread you want in the morning, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we? You are not grumbling against us, but against the LORD.”

    No no no, God said bread, not meat.

    9 Then Moses told Aaron, “Say to the entire Israelite community, ‘Come before the LORD, for he has heard your grumbling.’ “

    10 While Aaron was speaking to the whole Israelite community, they looked toward the desert, and there was the glory of the LORD appearing in the cloud.

    11 The LORD said to Moses,

    12 “I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them, ‘At twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will be filled with bread. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God.’ “

    13 That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp.

    14 When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor.

    15 When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?” For they did not know what it was.
    Moses said to them, “It is the bread the LORD has given you to eat.

    16 This is what the LORD has commanded: ‘Each one is to gather as much as he needs. Take an omer for each person you have in your tent.’ “

    17 The Israelites did as they were told; some gathered much, some little.

    18 And when they measured it by the omer, he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. Each one gathered as much as he needed.

    19 Then Moses said to them, “No one is to keep any of it until morning.”

    20 However, some of them paid no attention to Moses; they kept part of it until morning, but it was full of maggots and began to smell. So Moses was angry with them.

    As you would.

    21 Each morning everyone gathered as much as he needed, and when the sun grew hot, it melted away.

    22 On the sixth day, they gathered twice as much—two omers for each person—and the leaders of the community came and reported this to Moses.

    23 He said to them, “This is what the LORD commanded: ‘Tomorrow is to be a day of rest, a holy Sabbath to the LORD. So bake what you want to bake and boil what you want to boil. Save whatever is left and keep it until morning.’ “

    24 So they saved it until morning, as Moses commanded, and it did not stink or get maggots in it.

    25 “Eat it today,” Moses said, “because today is a Sabbath to the LORD. You will not find any of it on the ground today.

    26 Six days you are to gather it, but on the seventh day, the Sabbath, there will not be any.”

    27 Nevertheless, some of the people went out on the seventh day to gather it, but they found none.

    Even the chosen can be greedy and stupid.  Just goes to show that they are nothing special at all.

    28 Then the LORD said to Moses, “How long will you refuse to keep my commands and my instructions?

    29 Bear in mind that the LORD has given you the Sabbath; that is why on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days. Everyone is to stay where he is on the seventh day; no one is to go out.”

    30 So the people rested on the seventh day.

    31 The people of Israel called the bread manna. It was white like coriander seed and tasted like wafers made with honey.

    They could call it Bob for all it matters.

    32 Moses said, “This is what the LORD has commanded: ‘Take an omer of manna and keep it for the generations to come, so they can see the bread I gave you to eat in the desert when I brought you out of Egypt.’ “

    If you are good people and the generations to come have any respect for you, why would you need to keep it for them to see?  Just tell them about it.

    33 So Moses said to Aaron, “Take a jar and put an omer of manna in it. Then place it before the LORD to be kept for the generations to come.”

    34 As the LORD commanded Moses, Aaron put the manna in front of the Testimony, that it might be kept.

    The word ‘manna’ is supposed to mean ‘what is it’ in Hebrew, so reread that with the translation in mind.  WTF?

    35 The Israelites ate manna forty years, until they came to a land that was settled; they ate manna until they reached the border of Canaan.

    40 freaking years wandering the desert in the Middle East with over 2 million people plus their flocks and eating ‘what is it’ day after day, year after year. Crap, tripe and horsefeathers.

    36 (An omer is one tenth of an ephah.)

    << Exodus 15      Index      Exodus 17 >>

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  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 25, 2010 Permalink | Log in to leave a Comment
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    Exodus 15: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 15 of 40

    The Song of Moses and Miriam

    1 Then Moses and the Israelites sang this song to the LORD :
    “I will sing to the LORD,
    for he is highly exalted.
    The horse and its rider
    he has hurled into the sea.

    The innocent horse and rider he hurled into the sea.

    2 The LORD is my strength and my song;
    he has become my salvation.
    He is my God, and I will praise him,
    my father’s God, and I will exalt him.

    He should be asked why he forced the Egyptians to follow you into the Red Sea and then you should answer as to why you drowned them by following God’s word.

    3 The LORD is a warrior;
    the LORD is his name.

    Warriors fight against like enemies, not agains the helpless and the innocent.  He is a murderous son-of-a-bitch and deserves no praise whatsoever.

    4 Pharaoh’s chariots and his army
    he has hurled into the sea.
    The best of Pharaoh’s officers
    are drowned in the Red Sea.

    Singing and merrymaking over an innocents misfortune makes you as bad as the killer.

    5 The deep waters have covered them;
    they sank to the depths like a stone.

    6 “Your right hand, O LORD,
    was majestic in power.
    Your right hand, O LORD,
    shattered the enemy.

    Would you sing a song about a child squashing a snail?  Or an ant?  That is about the equivalent if you think about how much power God is supposed to have and how the Egyptians had no chance up against him.

    7 In the greatness of your majesty
    you threw down those who opposed you.
    You unleashed your burning anger;
    it consumed them like stubble.

    The Egyptians did not oppose God at all.  They were doing his will.

    8 By the blast of your nostrils
    the waters piled up.
    The surging waters stood firm like a wall;
    the deep waters congealed in the heart of the sea.

    9 “The enemy boasted,
    ‘I will pursue, I will overtake them.
    I will divide the spoils;
    I will gorge myself on them.
    I will draw my sword
    and my hand will destroy them.’

    At God’s bidding.

    10 But you blew with your breath,
    and the sea covered them.
    They sank like lead
    in the mighty waters.

    And you rejoice in their misfortune.

    11 “Who among the gods is like you, O LORD ?
    Who is like you—
    majestic in holiness,
    awesome in glory,
    working wonders?

    There are no others whose lack of compassion and conscience match the depths of God’s uncaring and sheer bloodymindedness.

    12 You stretched out your right hand
    and the earth swallowed them.

    13 “In your unfailing love you will lead
    the people you have redeemed.
    In your strength you will guide them
    to your holy dwelling.

    How could anyone trust such a liar and cheat.  He made us all in his image.  We were all his people.  Every one of us and every one of the animals, yet he throws our lives away with abandon and joy just to gain glory in our deaths.

    14 The nations will hear and tremble;
    anguish will grip the people of Philistia.

    15 The chiefs of Edom will be terrified,
    the leaders of Moab will be seized with trembling,
    the people of Canaan will melt away;

    16 terror and dread will fall upon them.
    By the power of your arm
    they will be as still as a stone—
    until your people pass by, O LORD,
    until the people you bought pass by.

    17 You will bring them in and plant them
    on the mountain of your inheritance—
    the place, O LORD, you made for your dwelling,
    the sanctuary, O Lord, your hands established.

    18 The LORD will reign
    for ever and ever.”

    19 When Pharaoh’s horses, chariots and horsemen went into the sea, the LORD brought the waters of the sea back over them, but the Israelites walked through the sea on dry ground.

    20 Then Miriam the prophetess, Aaron’s sister, took a tambourine in her hand, and all the women followed her, with tambourines and dancing.

    21 Miriam sang to them:
    “Sing to the LORD,
    for he is highly exalted.
    The horse and its rider
    he has hurled into the sea.”

    The Waters of Marah and Elim

    22 Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water.

    What? Your God not supplying your needs?  Oh, poor you.

    23 When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah.)

    24 So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?”

    25 Then Moses cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became sweet.  There the LORD made a decree and a law for them, and there he tested them.

    26 He said, “If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you.”

    Aha, here is the God we have all come to know.  Threats of death and destruction.  Gotta love this guy.  NOT!

    27 Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water.

    Woohoooo, light the fires and break out the marshmallows.  :)

    << Exodus 14      Index      Exodus 16 >>

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