Psalms Part 22 of 150
For the Chief Musician; set to “The Doe of the Morning.” A Psalm by David.
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Because you’re a whineyarsed dick.
Why are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?
Maybe because you carry on like he loves you and does everything for you one minute and then cry like a baby the next complaining that he hates you.
2 My God, I cry in the daytime, but you don’t answer;
in the night season, and am not silent.
See, you never shutup. That would piss anybody off.
3 But you are holy,
you who inhabit the praises of Israel.
4 Our fathers trusted in you.
They trusted, and you delivered them.
Way too often it was into the hands of their enemies.
5 They cried to you, and were delivered.
They trusted in you, and were not disappointed.
6 But I am a worm, and no man;
a reproach of men, and despised by the people.
In life you get what you deserve sometimes.
7 All those who see me mock me.
They insult me with their lips. They shake their heads, saying,
8 “He trusts in Yahweh;
let him deliver him.
Let him rescue him, since he delights in him.”
9 But you brought me out of the womb.
You made me trust at my mother’s breasts.
10 I was thrown on you from my mother’s womb.
You are my God since my mother bore me.
You seem to have a mother complex. Freud would love you.
11 Don’t be far from me, for trouble is near.
For there is no one to help.
12 Many bulls have surrounded me.
Strong bulls of Bashan have encircled me.
13 They open their mouths wide against me,
lions tearing prey and roaring.
Hmmm? What could the reason be?
14 I am poured out like water.
All my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax;
it is melted within me.
Where is your god now?
15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd.
My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.
You have brought me into the dust of death.
16 For dogs have surrounded me.
A company of evildoers have enclosed me.
They have pierced my hands and feet.
Bulls, lions and now dogs? Animals aren’t your best friends are they!
17 I can count all of my bones.
They look and stare at me.
18 They divide my garments among them.
They cast lots for my clothing.
19 But don’t be far off, Yahweh.
You are my help: hurry to help me.
Omnipresent remember. He is already there. If he’s not helping, it’s by choice.
20 Deliver my soul from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dog.
21 Save me from the lion’s mouth!
Yes, from the horns of the wild oxen, you have answered me.
Woohooooo, wild oxen too.
22 I will declare your name to my brothers.
In the midst of the assembly, I will praise you.
Crawler.
23 You who fear Yahweh, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, glorify him!
Stand in awe of him, all you descendants of Israel!
24 For he has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted,
Neither has he hidden his face from him;
but when he cried to him, he heard.
25 Of you comes my praise in the great assembly.
I will pay my vows before those who fear him.
26 The humble shall eat and be satisfied.
They shall praise Yahweh who seek after him.
Let your hearts live forever.
You were complaining of not getting his help. Now your praising him. What the hell for?
27 All the ends of the earth shall remember and turn to Yahweh.
All the relatives of the nations shall worship before you.
28 For the kingdom is Yahweh’s.
He is the ruler over the nations.
Despot!
29 All the rich ones of the earth shall eat and worship.
While the poor starve to death as he watches.
All those who go down to the dust shall bow before him,
even he who can’t keep his soul alive.
30 Posterity shall serve him.
Future generations shall be told about the Lord.
They will laugh and ignore the silly stories if they have a brain.
31 They shall come and shall declare his righteousness to a people that shall be born,
for he has done it.
Done nothing. Not a thing. That is his CV/Resume. Useless Mythical Creature. Moron.
<< Psalm 21 Index Psalm 23 >>
