Updates from January, 2012 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 31, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 88: Here come da Judge, here come da judge!!! 

    Psalms Part 88 of 150

    A Song. A Psalm by the sons of Korah. For the Chief Musician. To the tune of “The Suffering of Affliction.” A contemplation by Heman, the Ezrahite.

    1 Yahweh, the God of my salvation,

    I have cried day and night before you.

    That would make you a pretty pathetic specimen then.

    2 Let my prayer enter into your presence.

    Turn your ear to my cry.

    3 For my soul is full of troubles.

    What troubles?  Of your own making?

    My life draws near to Sheol.

    And like most gullible people you are turning to god to save your soul from everlasting torment in hell.  You should have thought of that earlier.

    4 I am counted among those who go down into the pit.

    I am like a man who has no help,

    5 set apart among the dead,

    like the slain who lie in the grave,

    whom you remember no more.

    They are cut off from your hand.

    What did you do so wrong that makes you think this?

    6 You have laid me in the lowest pit,

    in the darkest depths.

    No, if it were true, it would still be your doing.

    7 Your wrath lies heavily on me.

    You have afflicted me with all your waves.

    Selah.

    No, you asked for his wrath by being a dick.

    8 You have taken my friends from me.

    You have made me an abomination to them.

    I am confined, and I can’t escape.

    Then stop being a dick.

    9 My eyes are dim from grief.

    I have called on you daily, Yahweh.

    I have spread out my hands to you.

    Stop whining and put in some effort to change who you are. Then you will be what he wants.  Then if he still ignores you, you might wake up to the fact that you are imagining the whole thing.

    10 Do you show wonders to the dead?

    Do the departed spirits rise up and praise you?

    Selah.

    Gotta love a bit of Zombie action!!

    11 Is your loving kindness declared in the grave?

    Or your faithfulness in Destruction?

    12 Are your wonders made known in the dark?

    Or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?

    Are YOU capable of making sense?

    13 But to you, Yahweh, I have cried.

    In the morning, my prayer comes before you.

    14 Yahweh, why do you reject my soul?

    Why do you hide your face from me?

    You can’t hide what isn’t there.

    15 I am afflicted and ready to die from my youth up.

    While I suffer your terrors, I am distracted.

    16 Your fierce wrath has gone over me.

    Your terrors have cut me off.

    17 They came around me like water all day long.

    They completely engulfed me.

    18 You have put lover and friend far from me,

    and my friends into darkness.

    All condemnation of Gawd for treating you badly, but not one instance of admission of what you have done to deserve it.  If I was your judge, that is probably how I’d treat you too.

    << Psalm 87      Index      Psalm 89 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 30, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 87: Priorities Dude. Aren’t the truly needy more important than your ego? 

    Psalms Part 87 of 150

    A Psalm by the sons of Korah; a Song.

    1 His foundation is in the holy mountains.

    That means nothing.

    2 Yahweh loves the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Jacob.

    Still means nothing.

    3 Glorious things are spoken about you, city of God.

    Selah.

    Not feeding the starving here.

    4 I will record Rahab*and Babylon among those who acknowledge me.

    Behold, Philistia, Tyre, and also Ethiopia:

    “This one was born there.”

    I was born somewhere else.  How does that help the poor virgins being torn from their dying parents arms and offered to your priests?

    5 Yes, of Zion it will be said, “This one and that one was born in her”;

    the Most High himself will establish her.

    6 Yahweh will count, when he writes up the peoples,

    “This one was born there.”

    Selah.

    All praise the census taker.  Fail!!!

    7 Those who sing as well as those who dance say,

    “All my springs are in you.”

    Except the ones that are elsewhere.  There is nothing practical to be made out of this rubbish, as with most of this book.

    << Psalm 86      Index      Psalm 88 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 29, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 86: King David: Ignore the starving. Help me instead. I want to be happy. 

    Psalms Part 86 of 150

    A Prayer by David.

    1 Hear, Yahweh, and answer me,

    for I am poor and needy.

    Does that make you any more deserving than others?  As you’ve been killing for so long, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

    2 Preserve my soul, for I am godly.

    Do godly people kill?  Is that what he wants?  By your book, yes.

    You, my God, save your servant who trusts in you.

    If you were deserving, why has he allowed to you become poor and needy?  Then, I suppose I should ask how ‘King David’ can call himself poor and needy?

    3 Be merciful to me, Lord,

    for I call to you all day long.

    The amount of mercy you receive from Gawd depends on how long you whinge?  Strange to say the least.

    4 Bring joy to the soul of your servant,

    for to you, Lord, do I lift up my soul.

    Some people are starving to death and you think you deserve joy over them receiving life?  If you didn’t, you’d be off helping them instead of whining to Gawd.

    5 For you, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive;

    abundant in loving kindness to all those who call on you.

    Bullshit.  When two people with opposing prayers call on him, how can he satisfy both?  Or is it that he just loves them, but ignores their prayers?

    6 Hear, Yahweh, my prayer.

    Listen to the voice of my petitions.

    7 In the day of my trouble I will call on you,

    for you will answer me.

    How do you know that?  You’ve complained before this about Gawd ignoring you.

    8 There is no one like you among the gods, Lord,

    I should have been counting.  This is yet another admission that their are other gods than Gawd.

    nor any deeds like your deeds.

    9 All nations you have made will come and worship before you, Lord.

    He is supposed to have made everything, so how does that work when we know that most nations do NOT worship him?

    They shall glorify your name.

    Nope, wrong again.

    10 For you are great, and do wondrous things.

    You are God alone.

    11 Teach me your way, Yahweh.

    I will walk in your truth.

    I think I know what you stepped in.  It’s smelling up the place.

    Make my heart undivided to fear your name.

    12 I will praise you, Lord my God, with my whole heart.

    I will glorify your name forever more.

    In what way does that help anyone?

    13 For your loving kindness is great toward me.

    You have delivered my soul from the lowest Sheol.*

    So, even though you are alive at this moment in time, your soul had been in the place of the dead?  Gosh and Begorah, it must be a flamin’ miracle!!  :)

    14 God, the proud have risen up against me.

    A company of violent men have sought after my soul,

    and they don’t hold regard for you before them.

    They can’t really be blamed for that.  It just makes them rational.  They don’t believe in your imaginary friend and they are willing to protect themselves against your murderous raids.

    15 But you, Lord, are a merciful and gracious God,

    slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness and truth.

    Yeah, that’s why he keeps getting you lot to attack other innocent and peaceful people just to take their lands and give their daughters to your priests.

    16 Turn to me, and have mercy on me!

    Give your strength to your servant.

    Save the son of your handmaid.

    I see no reason to think he would.

    17 Show me a sign of your goodness,

    that those who hate me may see it, and be shamed,

    because you, Yahweh, have helped me, and comforted me.

    You keep asking, he keeps ignoring.  Nothing changes.

    << Psalm 85      Index      Psalm 87 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 28, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 85: Religion. The daftest form of gambling known to man. 

    Psalms Part 85 of 150

    For the Chief Musician. A Psalm by the sons of Korah.

    1 Yahweh, you have been favorable to your land.

    You have restored the fortunes of Jacob.

    Proof or it didn’t happen.

    2 You have forgiven the iniquity of your people.

    You have covered all their sin.

    Proof please.

    Selah.

    3 You have taken away all your wrath.

    You have turned from the fierceness of your anger.

    Waffle without proof is just waffle.

    4 Turn us, God of our salvation,

    and cause your indignation toward us to cease.

    How do you know he is indignant toward you?

    5 Will you be angry with us forever?

    Will you draw out your anger to all generations?

    If you go by the bible, then yes, he just might.

    6 Won’t you revive us again,

    that your people may rejoice in you?

    I wouldn’t.  I’d make you work hard and achieve things for yourself.

    7 Show us your loving kindness, Yahweh.

    Grant us your salvation.

    Still after something for nothing.

    8 I will hear what God, Yahweh, will speak,

    for he will speak peace to his people, his saints;

    but let them not turn again to folly.

    Hearing voices again huh?

    9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him,

    that glory may dwell in our land.

    I’m still to figure out the real need for fearing him.

    10 Mercy and truth meet together.

    Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

    But mercy and righteousness have naught to do with fear.

    11 Truth springs out of the earth.

    Righteousness has looked down from heaven.

    And you have your head up your arse.  It’s all that shit in your head that is stopping you from figuring out how moronic you sound.

    12 Yes, Yahweh will give that which is good.

    Our land will yield its increase.

    Is an increase in yield worth the lives that were lost for you to acquire the land?  Where was mercy then?  Where was the love; the kindness; the caring for your fellow man?

    13 Righteousness goes before him,

    And prepares the way for his steps.

    The only thing that went before you was an army that killed everyone in it’s path.

    << Psalm 84      Index      Psalm 86 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 27, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 84: The Bible. Metaphor or Urban Legend? 

    Psalms Part 84 of 150

    For the Chief Musician. On an instrument of Gath. A Psalm by the sons of Korah.

    1 How lovely are your dwellings,

    So if someone has a lovely looking house it makes them good?

    Yahweh of Armies!

    That isn’t exactly high praise.

    2 My soul longs, and even faints for the courts of Yahweh.

    My heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

    Drama Queen much?

    3 Yes, the sparrow has found a home,

    and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young,

    near your altars, Yahweh of Armies, my King, and my God.

    I don’t know if I’d want to bring my kids up around this kind of army.  They kill kids.

    4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house.

    They are always praising you.

    I think the phrase you’re looking for is ‘sucking up’.

    Selah.

    5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you;

    who have set their hearts on a pilgrimage.

    How does that make anyone blessed?  These arbitrary statements made as if that makes them fact really annoy me.

    6 Passing through the valley of Weeping, they make it a place of springs.

    Yes, the autumn rain covers it with blessings.

    Rain? Rain is blessings?  More stupid statements.

    7 They go from strength to strength.

    Everyone of them appears before God in Zion.

    Prove it.

    8 Yahweh, God of Armies, hear my prayer.

    Listen, God of Jacob.

    I’d ask you to prove God has ears to hear with, but you haven’t even proven God exists yet.

    Selah.

    9 Behold, God our shield,

    look at the face of your anointed.

    With what? His mythical eyes?

    10 For a day in your courts is better than a thousand.

    I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God,

    than to dwell in the tents of wickedness.

    Calling them wicked doesn’t make them so.  This is just more of you putting down those who don’t agree with your dogma.  This crap still happens today much to my annoyance.

    11 For Yahweh God is a sun and a shield.

    Yahweh will give grace and glory.

    Explain.  What is grace and how is it given?  Same with glory.

    He withholds no good thing from those who walk blamelessly.

    Go back and read this idiot book and you’ll find he does do that quite often.

    12 Yahweh of Armies,

    blessed is the man who trusts in you.

    Locked up in a padded room might safer.

    << Psalm 83      Index      Psalm 85 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 26, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 83: God can’t be all powerful if he failed to pick a winning team with these guys. 

    Psalms Part 83 of 150

    A song. A Psalm by Asaph.

    1 God, don’t keep silent.

    Don’t keep silent,

    and don’t be still, God.

    He’s the boss and you tell him what to do?

    2 For, behold, your enemies are stirred up.

    Those who hate you have lifted up their heads.

    The statement that they hate God most probably isn’t true.  It’s the same these days when the religious keep rabbiting on about atheists hating Gawd.  We don’t and can’t hate something that we don’t believe exists.  It’s about time you guys showed some kind of intelligence and got that simple fact into your heads.

    3 They conspire with cunning against your people.

    They plot against your cherished ones.

    As you guys did when you attacked them.  Fairness can be a real bitch sometimes, can’t it!!!

    4 “Come,” they say, “let’s destroy them as a nation,

    that the name of Israel may be remembered no more.”

    Considering how many nations Israel destroyed on their way, what do you expect?

    5 For they have conspired together with one mind.

    They form an alliance against you.

    That would be good thinking when they have you around.

    6 The tents of Edom and the Ishmaelites;

    Moab, and the Hagrites;

    7 Gebal, Ammon, and Amalek;

    Philistia with the inhabitants of Tyre;

    8 Assyria also is joined with them.

    They have helped the children of Lot.

    Selah.

    Yay them!!!

    9 Do to them as you did to Midian,

    as to Sisera, as to Jabin, at the river Kishon;

    10 who perished at Endor,

    who became as dung for the earth.

    See!!  You guys did that crap to those, so don’t go expecting this lot to sit still and let you do it to them as well.

    11 Make their nobles like Oreb and Zeeb;

    yes, all their princes like Zebah and Zalmunna;

    12 who said, “Let us take possession of God’s pasture lands.”

    They aren’t God’s pasture lands.  They belonged to somebody else till you guys came along, murdered the owners and stole the land.

    13 My God, make them like tumbleweed;

    like chaff before the wind.

    It would have been simpler and caused lot less loss of life if he had have just killed you guys off in the beginning. Everyone else could have lived a lot safer lives without you storming across the land laying waste to anything that moved.

    14 As the fire that burns the forest,

    as the flame that sets the mountains on fire,

    15 so pursue them with your tempest,

    and terrify them with your storm.

    16 Fill their faces with confusion,

    that they may seek your name, Yahweh.

    17 Let them be disappointed and dismayed forever.

    Yes, let them be confounded and perish;

    18 that they may know that you alone, whose name is Yahweh,

    are the Most High over all the earth.

    That is quite a freaking stupid thing to say.  You want them to perish, but to know God did it to them?  They can’t know it if it hasn’t happened, and by the time it has happened, they would be dead.  No wonder people look on the religious as a bunch of halfwits.  Take a little time to think about what you are saying before opening your mouths. It would help a lot.

    << Psalm 82      Index      Psalm 84 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 25, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 82: Drop God, forget wars, stay home, work hard and prosper. 

    Psalms Part 82 of 150

    A Psalm by Asaph.

    1 God presides in the great assembly.

    He judges among the gods.

    Again the admission there is more than one god.

    2 “How long will you judge unjustly,

    and show partiality to the wicked?”

    Selah.

    He’s not.  That’s just you being pissed off that those you don’t like are doing better than you.  Get over it and work harder.

    3 “Defend the weak, the poor, and the fatherless.

    Maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.

    This is probably what the so called ‘wicked’ are already doing and why they are doing better.  They aren’t wasting their time praying to non existent morons.

    4 Rescue the weak and needy.

    Deliver them out of the hand of the wicked.”

    Maybe they wouldn’t be weak and needy if they stayed home and looked after themselves instead going out fighting wars and wasting everything.

    5 They don’t know, neither do they understand.

    They walk back and forth in darkness.

    All the foundations of the earth are shaken.

    And yet they are doing better than you.

    6 I said, “You are gods,

    all of you are sons of the Most High.

    7 Nevertheless you shall die like men,

    and fall like one of the rulers.”

    8 Arise, God, judge the earth,

    for you inherit all of the nations.

    You lot didn’t even know about the rest of the earth, so how can he inherit ‘all of the nations’?

    << Psalm 81      Index      Psalm 83 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 24, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 81: If God is a magician, does he have a pretty assistant named Sharon? 

    Psalms Part 81 of 150

    For the Chief Musician. On an instrument of Gath. By Asaph.

    1 Sing aloud to God, our strength!

    Make a joyful shout to the God of Jacob!

    We’ll get the bit that your god isn’t real, so can’t be shouted at, sung to and most definitely isn’t your strength out of the way right now so we can move on to doing what I really like, which is bagging him out for being a murderous, genocidal, baby torturer.

    2 Raise a song, and bring here the tambourine,

    the pleasant lyre with the harp.

    Yeah, you’d sing to a god that could do those things.  You’d praise him as if doing those things were moral.  How could you?

    3 Blow the trumpet at the New Moon,

    at the full moon, on our feast day.

    Nothing wrong with that.  It’s festive.

    4 For it is a statute for Israel,

    an ordinance of the God of Jacob.

    No, it’s a moronic law made up by some priest to get you guys to do what they want.  A little bit of music to keep you happy.

    5 He appointed it in Joseph for a testimony,

    when he went out over the land of Egypt,

    I heard a language that I didn’t know.

    Mr Airy Fairy is supposed to be omnipresent, which in case you didn’t know, means he is everywhere at all times.  If we take that as being true, then he didn’t ‘go out over the land of Egypt’.  If we take the ‘go out over the land of Egypt’ as being true, then he isn’t omnipresent and isn’t a god.

    6 “I removed his shoulder from the burden.

    His hands were freed from the basket.

    7 You called in trouble, and I delivered you.

    I answered you in the secret place of thunder.

    I tested you at the waters of Meribah.”

    Here’s another one. If he’s a god, then he knows all and wouldn’t need to test anyone. As he admits he is testing you, then he isn’t all-knowing.

    Selah.

    8 “Hear, my people, and I will testify to you,

    Israel, if you would listen to me!

    9 There shall be no strange god in you,

    Well, that’s screwed for a start.  They don’t come much stranger than Yahweh.

    neither shall you worship any foreign god.

    Bummer, I’ve always had a hankering for Ra.  :)

    10 I am Yahweh, your God,

    who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.

    Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.

    That sounds too much like today’s priests for my liking.  No wonder they seem to think what they do is acceptable.

    11 But my people didn’t listen to my voice.

    Israel desired none of me.

    12 So I let them go after the stubbornness of their hearts,

    that they might walk in their own counsels.

    It is more than likely that they would have had a better chance if you had have stayed out of their lives in the first place instead of sending them to war over and over.

    13 Oh that my people would listen to me,

    that Israel would walk in my ways!

    They keep trying and it still isn’t doing them any good.

    14 I would soon subdue their enemies,

    and turn my hand against their adversaries.

    God is supposed to have made all of us, so why is everyone other than Israel so expendable?

    15 The haters of Yahweh would cringe before him,

    and their punishment would last forever.

    People who don’t follow him or don’t even know about him have, on the whole, no different lives than those that do.  In some cases, even better lives.  Moral ones at that before you start on that track.

    16 But he would have also fed them with the finest of the wheat.

    I will satisfy you with honey out of the rock.”

    Honey out of rock?  Oh My Dog!!!  He’s pulling his magic wand out again.   :)

    << Psalm 80      Index      Psalm 82 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 23, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 80: If he’d help those who ‘use’ him, he isn’t much of a god. 

    Psalms Part 80 of 150

    For the Chief Musician. To the tune of “The Lilies of the Covenant.” A Psalm by Asaph.

    1 Hear us, Shepherd of Israel,

    you who lead Joseph like a flock,

    you who sit above the cherubim, shine out.

    2 Before Ephraim and Benjamin and Manasseh, stir up your might!

    Come to save us!

    Why?

    3 Turn us again, God.

    Cause your face to shine,

    and we will be saved.

    Still, why?

    4 Yahweh God of Armies,

    How long will you be angry against the prayer of your people?

    What makes you think he’s angry with you?

    5 You have fed them with the bread of tears,

    and given them tears to drink in large measure.

    Explain.

    6 You make us a source of contention to our neighbors.

    Our enemies laugh among themselves.

    Probably because you mistreated them and now they have a chance to wreak vengeance up on you.

    7 Turn us again, God of Armies.

    Well, there’s a line that says a lot.

    Cause your face to shine,

    and we will be saved.

    8 You brought a vine out of Egypt.

    You drove out the nations, and planted it.

    It seems to have been a wrong move.

    9 You cleared the ground for it.

    It took deep root, and filled the land.

    It festered and became rotten at the roots.

    10 The mountains were covered with its shadow.

    Its boughs were like God’s cedars.

    11 It sent out its branches to the sea,

    Its shoots to the River.

    Taking over everyone else’s land by murder, rape and pillage.

    12 Why have you broken down its walls,

    so that all those who pass by the way pluck it?

    It is you who have become weak.

    13 The boar out of the wood ravages it.

    The wild animals of the field feed on it.

    After all the animal lives lost at your hand, it is probably time you gave a little back.

    14 Turn again, we beg you, God of Armies.

    Look down from heaven, and see, and visit this vine,

    15 the stock which your right hand planted,

    the branch that you made strong for yourself.

    16 It’s burned with fire.

    It’s cut down.

    They perish at your rebuke.

    17 Let your hand be on the man of your right hand,

    on the son of man whom you made strong for yourself.

    18 So we will not turn away from you.

    Revive us, and we will call on your name.

    So you will only turn back to Gawd if he does things you ask for?  If he really is a god, do you think he’d like the way you’re trying to use him?

    19 Turn us again, Yahweh God of Armies.

    Cause your face to shine, and we will be saved.

    Save yourself.  Work hard, look after others, be nice.  Make friends with your neighbors and enemies.  You’d be amazed how much that might help.  It would certainly be quicker than waiting on your imaginary friend to get on with things.

    << Psalm 79      Index      Psalm 81 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 22, 2012 Permalink
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    Psalm 79: Oh poor us! Whinge. Whine. Moan and groan. 

    Psalms Part 79 of 150

    A Psalm by Asaph.

    1 God, the nations have come into your inheritance.

    They have defiled your holy temple.

    They have laid Jerusalem in heaps.

    While your non-existent imaginary friend did nothing.  Put that on his resumé.

    2 They have given the dead bodies of your servants to be food for the birds of the sky,

    the flesh of your saints to the animals of the earth.

    It’s called recycling.  I have no problem with that.

    3 Their blood they have shed like water around Jerusalem.

    There was no one to bury them.

    Loss of life is never good, but how many lives had they taken themselves before this?

    4 We have become a reproach to our neighbors,

    a scoffing and derision to those who are around us.

    You’ve been that way a long time.

    5 How long, Yahweh?

    Will you be angry forever?

    Will your jealousy burn like fire?

    I think we already have anger and jealousy on the list.

    6 Pour out your wrath on the nations that don’t know you;

    Wrathful sounds nice.  We can add that.

    on the kingdoms that don’t call on your name;

    7 For they have devoured Jacob,

    and destroyed his homeland.

    Who allowed it to happen?  The buck has to stop with those that have the power to have changed things.

    8 Don’t hold the iniquities of our forefathers against us.

    Ah, but that is one of his rules.

    Let your tender mercies speedily meet us,

    We can’t be talking about the same gawd!

    for we are in desperate need.

    Change your ways.  Meet with the enemy and work things out.  Not that you’ve given them any reason to trust you.

    9 Help us, God of our salvation, for the glory of your name.

    Deliver us, and forgive our sins, for your name’s sake.

    That is more likely to work if he was real.  He doesn’t seem to want to ever do things because you want or need it, but just because it glorifies his name.  His ego is what it’s all about.

    10 Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?”

    Let it be known among the nations, before our eyes,

    that vengeance for your servants’ blood is being poured out.

    More war!  More war!  Yeah, that seems to be the only thing you guys care about.  Have you never heard of diplomacy?

    11 Let the sighing of the prisoner come before you.

    According to the greatness of your power, preserve those who are sentenced to death.

    Even if they are your enemy?

    12 Pay back to our neighbors seven times into their bosom

    their reproach with which they have reproached you, Lord.

    Ah, as I thought.  How neighborly of you.

    13 So we, your people and sheep of your pasture,

    will give you thanks forever.

    We will praise you forever, to all generations.

    You love him so much because he helps you kill your enemies?

    The big problem here is that when there is credit due, you give it to your god, but when responsibility has to be taken for something going wrong it’s always humanity that has to pay the price.

    << Psalm 78      Index      Psalm 80 >>

     

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