Genesis 8: Did anyone hear what God said?

1 And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark: and God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters asswaged;

Remember? He’d never have forgotten so remembering is a little redundant.

2 The fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped , and the rain from heaven was restrained;

We’ve been through this, but just for fun I’ll say it anyway.  There is not enough water in the ground and in the sky to pull of a flood of this size.  Pure rubbish.

3 And the waters returned from off the earth continually : and after the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.

Is that 150 days from the first drop of rain or 150 days since the rain stopped??

4 And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

This says July was the month Mount Ararat showed up.

5 And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

This says October before the top of the mountains were seen. Both can’t be right. Typical though.

6 And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

Must have been awfully dark with only one window in a boat big enough for even a fraction of the animals on this planet.

7 And he sent forth a raven, which went forth to and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth.

8 Also he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground;

9 But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him into the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her , and pulled her in unto him into the ark.

No, no, no, you just finished saying the waters had receded and Mount Ararat was showing. There must have been somewhere for the bird to land. Stupid people can’t get their story straight.

10 And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark;

11 And the dove came in to him in the evening ; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.

An Olive Tree would not have lived underwater for that amount of time or be able to produce new leaves so soon after being submerged.

12 And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more.

I don’t blame the poor bird.  Imagine the stink in the Ark after all that time?

13 And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked , and, behold, the face of the ground was dry.

Yeah sure.  It is ridiculous to expect anyone to believe that you would wait till the earth was completely uncovered, especially when the Ark was up a mountainside.  Morons.

14 And in the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried.

You just finished saying it was dry in the first month and now you change it straight away to the second month.  Again, morons!!!!

15 And God spake unto Noah, saying,

16 Go forth of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons’ wives with thee.

17 Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful , and multiply upon the earth.

And pray tell, what would they eat?  The earth would be barren and it will be years before there is plentiful food for all.  Even the carnivores would eat the other animals straight away.  Do you expect the lions, tigers, hyenas and wild dogs to wait for the next breeding season before they eat?

18 And Noah went forth , and his sons, and his wife, and his sons’ wives with him:

19 Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.

20 And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar.

So straight away that makes those animals extinct.  Very humane Noah.

21 And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man’s sake; for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done .

Isn’t that exactly what it supposed to happen?  Again, lies, lies and more lies from the master of lies and deception.

22 While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease .

Matthew 25:31-36, 40-43, 45-46 all say something different.  Still, it is just as I’d expect from a fairy tale written for superstitious fools.

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