Exodus 7: The Flight from Egypt

Exodus: Part 7 of 40

1 Then the LORD said to Moses, “See, I have made you like God to Pharaoh, and your brother Aaron will be your prophet.

Straight man and comedy sidekick would be more like it.

2 You are to say everything I command you, and your brother Aaron is to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites go out of his country.

Same thing again, I’ll bet.  Tell them to do something that is useless until you make it happen yourself.

3 But I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and though I multiply my miraculous signs and wonders in Egypt,

Just as it was last time.

4 he will not listen to you. Then I will lay my hand on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment I will bring out my divisions, my people the Israelites.

Playing favourites and setting one people against another is not my idea of a benevolent, compassionate, kind or loving being.

5 And the Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when I stretch out my hand against Egypt and bring the Israelites out of it.”

Why not just allow this to happen in the first place instead of playing the ‘big man’?  Ego!  If God was real, he would just be one big ego playing with himself.

6 Moses and Aaron did just as the LORD commanded them.

It’s not as if they had any choice.

7 Moses was eighty years old and Aaron eighty-three when they spoke to Pharaoh.

Who cares?

Aaron’s Staff Becomes a Snake

8 The LORD said to Moses and Aaron,

9 “When Pharaoh says to you, ‘Perform a miracle,’ then say to Aaron, ‘Take your staff and throw it down before Pharaoh,’ and it will become a snake.”

10 So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and did just as the LORD commanded. Aaron threw his staff down in front of Pharaoh and his officials, and it became a snake.

11 Pharaoh then summoned wise men and sorcerers, and the Egyptian magicians also did the same things by their secret arts:

12 Each one threw down his staff and it became a snake. But Aaron’s staff swallowed up their staffs.

Ah, a twist in the story.  People other than God have magical powers.  How did this come about?  Is the bible really saying that ‘magic’ is real?

13 Yet Pharaoh’s heart became hard and he would not listen to them, just as the LORD had said.

So it’s not the Pharoah’s fault here.  It’s God’s fault.  He’s the sinister character in this story.

The Plague of Blood

14 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Pharaoh’s heart is unyielding; he refuses to let the people go.

Untrue you lying bastard.  It’s you who refuses to let them go.  It’s you who won’t allow Pharaoh to let them go!

15 Go to Pharaoh in the morning as he goes out to the water. Wait on the bank of the Nile to meet him, and take in your hand the staff that was changed into a snake.

16 Then say to him, ‘The LORD, the God of the Hebrews, has sent me to say to you: Let my people go, so that they may worship me in the desert. But until now you have not listened.

17 This is what the LORD says: By this you will know that I am the LORD : With the staff that is in my hand I will strike the water of the Nile, and it will be changed into blood.

18 The fish in the Nile will die, and the river will stink; the Egyptians will not be able to drink its water.’ “

Oh wonderful, give the Egyptians a hard time when it’s not even their fault.

19 The LORD said to Moses, “Tell Aaron, ‘Take your staff and stretch out your hand over the waters of Egypt—over the streams and canals, over the ponds and all the reservoirs’-and they will turn to blood. Blood will be everywhere in Egypt, even in the wooden buckets and stone jars.”

20 Moses and Aaron did just as the LORD had commanded. He raised his staff in the presence of Pharaoh and his officials and struck the water of the Nile, and all the water was changed into blood.

This is perfect.  There would never have been such an event without the Egyptians writing about it and they didn’t.  So again, I call bullshit!

21 The fish in the Nile died, and the river smelled so bad that the Egyptians could not drink its water. Blood was everywhere in Egypt.

Bullshit!!

22 But the Egyptian magicians did the same things by their secret arts, and Pharaoh’s heart became hard; he would not listen to Moses and Aaron, just as the LORD had said.

Bullshit!!! And once again the bible says magic is real.

23 Instead, he turned and went into his palace, and did not take even this to heart.

24 And all the Egyptians dug along the Nile to get drinking water, because they could not drink the water of the river.

The Plague of Frogs

25 Seven days passed after the LORD struck the Nile.

Why is God punishing the Egyptians for something he caused?  And what is this crap about frogs?  Also, I have to wonder if anyone has ever sat down with no preconceptions about the bible, started to read it and actually thought it was a good read?

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