Leviticus 24: Laws and Rituals of the Covenant

Leviticus: Part 24 of 27

Oil and Bread Set Before the LORD

1 The LORD said to Moses,

G’day Bob.

2 “Command the Israelites to bring you clear oil of pressed olives for the light so that the lamps may be kept burning continually.

For an omnipotent god you sure don’t do much for anyone.  Always getting others to give, give, give.

3 Outside the curtain of the Testimony in the Tent of Meeting, Aaron is to tend the lamps before the LORD from evening till morning, continually. This is to be a lasting ordinance for the generations to come.

Considering that place doesn’t exist anymore, this bit is pretty well screwed.

4 The lamps on the pure gold lampstand before the LORD must be tended continually.

5 “Take fine flour and bake twelve loaves of bread, using two-tenths of an ephah for each loaf.

On the lamps?

6 Set them in two rows, six in each row, on the table of pure gold before the LORD.

Why does a god have need of pure gold, meat, oil, grain etc?

7 Along each row put some pure incense as a memorial portion to represent the bread and to be an offering made to the LORD by fire.

8 This bread is to be set out before the LORD regularly, Sabbath after Sabbath, on behalf of the Israelites, as a lasting covenant.

9 It belongs to Aaron and his sons, who are to eat it in a holy place, because it is a most holy part of their regular share of the offerings made to the LORD by fire.”

Skimming the profits!  Or is that prophets?

A Blasphemer Stoned

10 Now the son of an Israelite mother and an Egyptian father went out among the Israelites, and a fight broke out in the camp between him and an Israelite.

11 The son of the Israelite woman blasphemed the Name with a curse; so they brought him to Moses. (His mother’s name was Shelomith, the daughter of Dibri the Danite.)

They are both sons of Israelite mothers, so which one are you talking about?

12 They put him in custody until the will of the LORD should be made clear to them.

How many lives have been lost in the name of God I wonder?

13 Then the LORD said to Moses:

Hey Bob?  Over here dude,  I have something to tell you.

14 “Take the blasphemer outside the camp. All those who heard him are to lay their hands on his head, and the entire assembly is to stone him.

Then you’ve just admitted to being a childkiller.

15 Say to the Israelites: ‘If anyone curses his God, he will be held responsible;

I’d curse you if it would do any good, but as you are a myth, it would just be a waste of time.  But just for kicks.  Screw you bitch!  God sucks.  God is an arsehole!  God is a child killing, genocidal, incest loving freak.

16 anyone who blasphemes the name of the LORD must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him. Whether an alien or native-born, when he blasphemes the Name, he must be put to death.

That’s coming one day whether I like it or not, so that is not much of a threat.

17 ” ‘If anyone takes the life of a human being, he must be put to death.

Then YOU should commit suicide.  You have taken many human lives.

18 Anyone who takes the life of someone’s animal must make restitution—life for life.

You’ve done more of that than anyone else, so die you bastard!

19 If anyone injures his neighbor, whatever he has done must be done to him:

You have caused more injuries to peoples neighbours on this planet than any single group of people, so again, die you bastard!

20 fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured.

I’d pay to see that happen to you.

21 Whoever kills an animal must make restitution, but whoever kills a man must be put to death.

Before it was life for life when someone killed an animal.  You changed it again.  Your word can’t be trusted.

22 You are to have the same law for the alien and the native-born. I am the LORD your God.’ “

No you’re not.  You are my enemy.  My arch nemesis.  If I had the power right now I would drive the memory of you from peoples minds and from history.

23 Then Moses spoke to the Israelites, and they took the blasphemer outside the camp and stoned him. The Israelites did as the LORD commanded Moses.

Sick, depraved bastards and that goes for your supporters.

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