Joshua 14: The Crocoduck Postulate.
Joshua: Part 14 of 24
Division of the Land West of the Jordan
1 Now these are the areas the Israelites received as an inheritance in the land of Canaan, which Eleazar the priest, Joshua son of Nun and the heads of the tribal clans of Israel allotted to them.
I fail to understand the importance given to allotment of stolen goods? So many of the acts committed in this book would have you on trial for war crimes, executed or locked up for the rest of your natural life. Maybe even committed to a mental institution for the rest of your life. There is still no basis for calling this a good book unless piling stones into pillars is a virtue.
2 Their inheritances were assigned by lot to the nine and a half tribes, as the LORD had commanded through Moses.
Honestly, this could all be used in evidence against the accused in a court of law.
3 Moses had granted the two and a half tribes their inheritance east of the Jordan but had not granted the Levites an inheritance among the rest,
4 for Joseph’s descendants had become two tribes—Manasseh and Ephraim. The Levites received no share of the land but only towns to live in, with pasturelands for their flocks and herds.
Pasturelands isn’t land? I suppose a city is a duck? Or is that a crocoduck?
5 So the Israelites divided the land, just as the LORD had commanded Moses.
Allotment for Caleb
6 Now the people of Judah approached Joshua at Gilgal, and Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite said to him, “You know what the LORD said to Moses the man of God at Kadesh Barnea about you and me.
7 I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the LORD sent me from Kadesh Barnea to explore the land. And I brought him back a report according to my convictions,
8 but my fellow Israelites who went up with me made the hearts of the people melt in fear. I, however, followed the LORD my God wholeheartedly.
9 So on that day Moses swore to me, ‘The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the LORD my God wholeheartedly.’
10 “Now then, just as the LORD promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the wilderness. So here I am today, eighty-five years old!
With what proof that it was God that kept you alive?
11 I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I’m just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then.
Yeah, I’ve seen men as old as this trying to take on younger men saying they could still win. Methinks you should sit down out of the sun dude.
12 Now give me this hill country that the LORD promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the LORD helping me, I will drive them out just as he said.”
That’s the way. Order Joshua around. Can’t even say please. That’s another thing. Where are the manners in this freaking book? Everyone likes to hold this thing up and teach children from it. One of the first things we want to teach our children is good manners. How is this helping?
13 Then Joshua blessed Caleb son of Jephunneh and gave him Hebron as his inheritance.
14 So Hebron has belonged to Caleb son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite ever since, because he followed the LORD, the God of Israel, wholeheartedly.
You’re telling me it belongs to a dead man? A pile of dust by now presumably. Sure thing. Did you know we landed a family of Crocoducks on the moon last week? No? I have evidence right here in this book I wrote today. Want to buy a copy?
15 (Hebron used to be called Kiriath Arba after Arba, who was the greatest man among the Anakites.) Then the land had rest from war.
For how long? Don’t put your reading glasses away thinking this is all over dear readers. There’s more on the horizon. 