2-Chronicles 15: Imagine there’s no Heaven, It’s easy if you try.
2-Chronicles Part 15 of 36
1 The Spirit of God came on Azariah the son of Oded:
I hope he had tissues handy.
2 and he went out to meet Asa, and said to him, “Hear me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin! Yahweh is with you, while you are with him; and if you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.
3 Now for a long time Israel was without the true God, and without a teaching priest, and without law.
They didn’t need a god or a priest. Also, I refuse to believe that they were without law. It was just the people’s law instead of a bunch of idiotic laws dreamed up by power hungry morons to keep the people giving to them forever. They were probably much better off and it would be likely that there would be much less trouble in that area today if these morons had never started with this ‘god’ business in the first place.
4 But when in their distress they turned to Yahweh, the God of Israel, and sought him, he was found by them.
All squinty eyed sitting in a dark corner playing with himself?
5 In those times there was no peace to him who went out, nor to him who came in; but great troubles were on all the inhabitants of the lands.
And we’re expected to believe it’s because they were all bad people. Well, I don’t believe that and if God was punishing them all, it just shows what a bastard he must be.
6 They were broken in pieces, nation against nation, and city against city; for God troubled them with all adversity.
There you go. Arsehole!
7 But you be strong, and don’t let your hands be slack; for your work shall be rewarded.”
8 When Asa heard these words, and the prophecy of Oded the prophet, he took courage, and put away the abominations out of all the land of Judah and Benjamin, and out of the cities which he had taken from the hill country of Ephraim; and he renewed the altar of Yahweh, that was before the porch of Yahweh.
All this shit happens over and over and over again without any change in the moral landscape. When are we going to get to something new with meaning for real people?
9 He gathered all Judah and Benjamin, and those who lived with them out of Ephraim and Manasseh, and out of Simeon: for they fell to him out of Israel in abundance, when they saw that Yahweh his God was with him.
10 So they gathered themselves together at Jerusalem in the third month, in the fifteenth year of the reign of Asa.
11 They sacrificed to Yahweh in that day, of the plunder which they had brought, seven hundred head of cattle and seven thousand sheep.
They’d have done better sacrificing Yahweh himself instead of these poor animals.
12 They entered into the covenant to seek Yahweh, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and with all their soul;
13 and that whoever would not seek Yahweh, the God of Israel, should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.
Now there’s a heartwarming act. Kill those who don’t agree with you. Typical of this book though.
14 They swore to Yahweh with a loud voice, and with shouting, and with trumpets, and with cornets.
I’d prefer they swore at him. He certainly deserves it.
15 All Judah rejoiced at the oath; for they had sworn with all their heart, and sought him with their whole desire; and he was found of them: and Yahweh gave them rest all around.
16 Also Maacah, the mother of Asa the king, he removed from being queen, because she had made an abominable image for an Asherah; and Asa cut down her image, and made dust of it, and burnt it at the brook Kidron.
17 But the high places were not taken away out of Israel: nevertheless the heart of Asa was perfect all his days.
So all this good, but just not that last little bit. Always something left undone for God to get pissed about every time.
18 He brought into God’s house the things that his father had dedicated, and that he himself had dedicated, silver, and gold, and vessels.
19 There was no more war to the five and thirtieth year of the reign of Asa.
There never needed to be if this ‘god’ was real and had have done the right thing.