2-Chronicles 18: Extra, extra. Yahweh speaks evil. Read all about it!
2-Chronicles Part 18 of 36
1 Now Jehoshaphat had riches and honor in abundance; and he joined affinity with Ahab.
2 After certain years he went down to Ahab to Samaria. Ahab killed sheep and cattle for him in abundance, and for the people who were with him, and moved him to go up with him to Ramoth Gilead.
3 Ahab king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat king of Judah, “Will you go with me to Ramoth Gilead?”
He answered him, “I am as you are, and my people as your people. We will be with you in the war.”
Always war. Does it ever stop?
4 Jehoshaphat said to the king of Israel, “Please inquire first for the word of Yahweh.”
5 Then the king of Israel gathered the prophets together, four hundred men, and said to them, “Shall we go to Ramoth Gilead to battle, or shall I forbear?”
They said, “Go up; for God will deliver it into the hand of the king.”
6 But Jehoshaphat said, “Isn’t there here a prophet of Yahweh besides, that we may inquire of him?”
7 The king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, “There is yet one man by whom we may inquire of Yahweh; but I hate him, for he never prophesies good concerning me, but always evil. He is Micaiah the son of Imla.”
Ah, this guy. Shun him because he doesn’t say what you want him to? That’s a great way to treat your advisers.
Jehoshaphat said, “Don’t let the king say so.”
8 Then the king of Israel called an officer, and said, “Get Micaiah the son of Imla quickly.”
9 Now the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat the king of Judah sat each on his throne, arrayed in their robes, and they were sitting in an open place at the entrance of the gate of Samaria; and all the prophets were prophesying before them.
I wonder what that looks like?
10 Zedekiah the son of Chenaanah made him horns of iron, and said, “Thus says Yahweh, ‘With these you shall push the Syrians, until they are consumed.’”
11 All the prophets prophesied so, saying, “Go up to Ramoth Gilead, and prosper; for Yahweh will deliver it into the hand of the king.”
12 The messenger who went to call Micaiah spoke to him, saying, “Behold, the words of the prophets declare good to the king with one mouth. Let your word therefore, please be like one of theirs, and speak good.”
What is the use of a prophet who has to read a script? Let him make up his own fairy tales.
13 Micaiah said, “As Yahweh lives, what my God says, that will I speak.”
14 When he had come to the king, the king said to him, “Micaiah, shall we go to Ramoth Gilead to battle, or shall I forbear?”
He said, “Go up, and prosper. They shall be delivered into your hand.”
15 The king said to him, “How many times shall I adjure you that you speak to me nothing but the truth in the name of Yahweh?”
He tells you what you want to hear and you still complain?
16 He said, “I saw all Israel scattered on the mountains, as sheep that have no shepherd. Yahweh said, ‘These have no master. Let them return every man to his house in peace.’”
17 The king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, “Didn’t I tell you that he would not prophesy good concerning me, but evil?”
18 Micaiah said, “Therefore hear the word of Yahweh: I saw Yahweh sitting on his throne, and all the army of heaven standing on his right hand and on his left.
19 Yahweh said, ‘Who shall entice Ahab king of Israel, that he may go up and fall at Ramoth Gilead?’ One spoke saying in this way, and another saying in that way.
20 A spirit came out, stood before Yahweh, and said, ‘I will entice him.’
“Yahweh said to him, ‘How?’
21 “He said, ‘I will go forth, and will be a lying spirit in the mouth of all his prophets.’
Them’s fightin’ words. You’ll be in trouble with the Prophet’s Union over that one.
“He said, ‘You will entice him, and will prevail also. Go forth, and do so.’
22 “Now therefore, behold, Yahweh has put a lying spirit in the mouth of these your prophets; and Yahweh has spoken evil concerning you.”
Yahweh is accused of speaking evil? I’m starting to warm to this guy.
23 Then Zedekiah the son of Chenaanah came near, and struck Micaiah on the cheek, and said, “Which way did the Spirit of Yahweh go from me to speak to you?”
24 Micaiah said, “Behold, you shall see on that day, when you shall go into an inner room to hide yourself.”
That sounds like code for something.
25 The king of Israel said, “Take Micaiah, and carry him back to Amon the governor of the city, and to Joash the king’s son;
26 and say, ‘Thus says the king, “Put this fellow in the prison, and feed him with bread of affliction and with water of affliction, until I return in peace.”’”
Of affliction? I wonder what that is supposed to mean.
27 Micaiah said, “If you return at all in peace, Yahweh has not spoken by me.” He said, “Listen, you peoples, all of you!”
28 So the king of Israel and Jehoshaphat the king of Judah went up to Ramoth Gilead.
29 The king of Israel said to Jehoshaphat, “I will disguise myself, and go into the battle; but you put on your robes.” So the king of Israel disguised himself; and they went into the battle.
30 Now the king of Syria had commanded the captains of his chariots, saying, “Fight neither with small nor great, except only with the king of Israel.”
Are we talking with the army of Israel or are they being instructed to find the King of Israel and kill him?
31 It happened, when the captains of the chariots saw Jehoshaphat, that they said, “It is the king of Israel!” Therefore they turned around to fight against him. But Jehoshaphat cried out, and Yahweh helped him; and God moved them to depart from him.
So, it was just the king. Strange.
32 It happened, when the captains of the chariots saw that it was not the king of Israel, that they turned back from pursuing him.
The men saw that it wasn’t Ahab and left. It had nothing to do with Yahweh. How come he gets the credit?
33 A certain man drew his bow at random, and struck the king of Israel between the joints of the armor. Therefore he said to the driver of the chariot, “Turn your hand, and carry me out of the army; for I am severely wounded.”
That’s what is bound to happen when you go to war.
34 The battle increased that day. However the king of Israel propped himself up in his chariot against the Syrians until the evening; and about the time of the going down of the sun, he died.
Yeah, he just had to stay alive to the last second. Just like a B Grade movie.