Psalm 116: Wanted by Morons: God, aka Jehovah, aka Yah, aka Yahweh!
Psalms Part 116 of 150
1 I love Yahweh, because he listens to my voice,
and my cries for mercy.
Anybody can make baseless claims like this. Prove them, then we might listen.
2 Because he has turned his ear to me,
therefore I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death surrounded me,
the pains of Sheol got a hold of me.
I found trouble and sorrow.
See a shrink.
4 Then I called on Yahweh’s name:
“Yahweh, I beg you, deliver my soul.”
If you actually heard a voice answer you, then you have even more serious problems.
5 Yahweh is Gracious and righteous.
Yes, our God is merciful.
Whatever floats your boat.
6 Yahweh preserves the simple.
I was brought low, and he saved me.
Yes, sure he did.
7 Return to your rest, my soul,
for Yahweh has dealt bountifully with you.
8 For you have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
and my feet from falling.
You were dead, crying and falling? If you were dead, how do you know you were crying and falling?
9 I will walk before Yahweh in the land of the living.
I’m here. Doing alright. Don’t need a puppetmaster.
10 I believed, therefore I said,
“I was greatly afflicted.”
If you believe, then you are afflicted. That I do believe.
11 I said in my haste,
“All men are liars.”
You are a man. How then, do we take your word for anything?
12 What will I give to Yahweh for all his benefits toward me?
You’ve already given up your sanity.
13 I will take the cup of salvation, and call on Yahweh’s name.
Why not? You already drank the Cool-Aid!
14 I will pay my vows to Yahweh,
yes, in the presence of all his people.
15 Precious in the sight of Yahweh is the death of his saints.
He really does like death ,doesn’t he!
16 Yahweh, truly I am your servant.
I am your servant, the son of your handmaid.
You have freed me from my chains.
You have given up your life, your mind, your free will.
17 I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and will call on Yahweh’s name.
18 I will pay my vows to Yahweh,
yes, in the presence of all his people,
19 in the courts of Yahweh’s house,
in your midst, Jerusalem.
Yahweh, Jehovah, Yah, God. How many aliases does a guy need before you become suspicious?