1-Kings Part 18 of 22
Elijah and Obadiah
1 After a long time, in the third year, the word of the LORD came to Elijah: “Go and present yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain on the land.”
What was the criteria for giving in and looking after them at last? And why Ahab?
2 So Elijah went to present himself to Ahab.
Now the famine was severe in Samaria,
Well, after a long drought, that God caused, what would you expect?
3 and Ahab had summoned Obadiah, his palace administrator. (Obadiah was a devout believer in the LORD.
Why? Had God spoken to him or was he just another sock puppet?
4 While Jezebel was killing off the LORD’s prophets,
Why was God allowing her to kill off his prophets? Can’t he even take care of them?
Obadiah had taken a hundred prophets and hidden them in two caves, fifty in each, and had supplied them with food and water.)
Where was he getting the water and food from for that amount of mouths?
5 Ahab had said to Obadiah, “Go through the land to all the springs and valleys. Maybe we can find some grass to keep the horses and mules alive so we will not have to kill any of our animals.”
Why hadn’t God provided for them? Because they can’t ‘believe’ in him?
6 So they divided the land they were to cover, Ahab going in one direction and Obadiah in another.
This sounds like they were friends out to try and do something positive.
7 As Obadiah was walking along, Elijah met him. Obadiah recognized him, bowed down to the ground, and said, “Is it really you, my lord Elijah?”
Ah, it’s the boss. Well, one of them.
8 “Yes,” he replied. “Go tell your master, ‘Elijah is here.’”
9 “What have I done wrong,” asked Obadiah, “that you are handing your servant over to Ahab to be put to death?
You just accused your lord of trying to kill you? Brave boy.
10 As surely as the LORD your God lives, there is not a nation or kingdom where my master has not sent someone to look for you. And whenever a nation or kingdom claimed you were not there, he made them swear they could not find you.
11 But now you tell me to go to my master and say, ‘Elijah is here.’
12 I don’t know where the Spirit of the LORD may carry you when I leave you. If I go and tell Ahab and he doesn’t find you, he will kill me. Yet I your servant have worshiped the LORD since my youth.
Why don’t they explain this shit first so you have some idea of what they are talking about? Not to mention they give no examples. Just believe them I guess. NOT!
13 Haven’t you heard, my lord, what I did while Jezebel was killing the prophets of the LORD? I hid a hundred of the LORD’s prophets in two caves, fifty in each, and supplied them with food and water.
14 And now you tell me to go to my master and say, ‘Elijah is here.’ He will kill me!”
15 Elijah said, “As the LORD Almighty lives, whom I serve, I will surely present myself to Ahab today.”
See, there you go. You can believe him now can’t you?
Elijah on Mount Carmel
16 So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and told him, and Ahab went to meet Elijah.
17 When he saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?”
Wow, first words out of your mouth and you insult the guy. Lovely.
18 “I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the LORD’s commands and have followed the Baals.
Whoa, return of serve!
19 Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.”
Now, if you were willing to insult Elijah the way Ahab did, would you obey him?
20 So Ahab sent word throughout all Israel and assembled the prophets on Mount Carmel.
21 Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”
But the people said nothing.
Why would you? None of them have any proof either way.
22 Then Elijah said to them, “I am the only one of the LORD’s prophets left, but Baal has four hundred and fifty prophets.
How can you be the only one when there are at least one hundred still alive hidden in caves? Moron.
23 Get two bulls for us. Let Baal’s prophets choose one for themselves, and let them cut it into pieces and put it on the wood but not set fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and put it on the wood but not set fire to it.
24 Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire—he is God.”
Like two kids in the playground yelling out “my dad’s bigger than your dad”. What an idiotic pissing match this is.
Then all the people said, “What you say is good.”
25 Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire.”
Hold on. I have a problem with this. This is God’s book. Of course it will be written to say he won. What does it say in Baal’s book?
26 So they took the bull given them and prepared it.
Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. “Baal, answer us!” they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.
27 At noon Elijah began to taunt them. “Shout louder!” he said. “Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.”
Is this how God’s prophets act? Not nice.
28 So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed.
Why would people continue to act in this manner unless some proof of the existence of Baal had been shown to them at some time in the past? If there wasn’t any, they would be following God by now because at least he’s shown proof of his existence (at least as far as this fairytale book goes) by the mean spirited actions he’s taken.
29 Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.
Much like God these days.
30 Then Elijah said to all the people, “Come here to me.” They came to him, and he repaired the altar of the LORD, which had been torn down.
31 Elijah took twelve stones, one for each of the tribes descended from Jacob, to whom the word of the LORD had come, saying, “Your name shall be Israel.”
32 With the stones he built an altar in the name of the LORD, and he dug a trench around it large enough to hold two seahs of seed.
33 He arranged the wood, cut the bull into pieces and laid it on the wood. Then he said to them, “Fill four large jars with water and pour it on the offering and on the wood.”
That’s two innocent bulls that have not had their lives taken from them for no good reason.
34 “Do it again,” he said, and they did it again.
“Do it a third time,” he ordered, and they did it the third time.
Is this a biblical form of Simon Says?
35 The water ran down around the altar and even filled the trench.
That’s a fair amount of water to waste in the middle of a drought and famine.
36 At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: “LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command.
37 Answer me, LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.”
Just had a thought. What if God is Baal as well? Does he play both roles? How would we know? Hmmmmm?
38 Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench.
Fire burned up the stones? Sure it did. hehe
39 When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The LORD—he is God! The LORD—he is God!”
Fickle bastards. Stay with Baal, at least he hasn’t caused you problems like God.
40 Then Elijah commanded them, “Seize the prophets of Baal. Don’t let anyone get away!” They seized them, and Elijah had them brought down to the Kishon Valley and slaughtered there.
Just as they should have expected in the first place and had the good sense not to go. But we’re talking about deluded morons here.
41 And Elijah said to Ahab, “Go, eat and drink, for there is the sound of a heavy rain.”
Even rain would not end the famine soon enough to be wasting food. Or is God going to give him extra and not the rest of his flock? It would be typical that he’d give some to the King/prophets and not the sheep. Let them die or fend for themselves.
42 So Ahab went off to eat and drink, but Elijah climbed to the top of Carmel, bent down to the ground and put his face between his knees.
43 “Go and look toward the sea,” he told his servant. And he went up and looked.
“There is nothing there,” he said.
Seven times Elijah said, “Go back.”
Anyone being told this over and over would have asked why way before the seventh time. Why isn’t that here?
44 The seventh time the servant reported, “A cloud as small as a man’s hand is rising from the sea.”
So Elijah said, “Go and tell Ahab, ‘Hitch up your chariot and go down before the rain stops you.’”
I’m getting tired of asking why, but, why?
45 Meanwhile, the sky grew black with clouds, the wind rose, a heavy rain started falling and Ahab rode off to Jezreel.
A heavy rain after a long drought would wash away the good topsoil. Good going God.
46 The power of the LORD came on Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.
Run Forest run!!!
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