Genesis: Part 49 of 50
Jacob Blesses His Sons
1 Then Jacob called for his sons and said: “Gather around so I can tell you what will happen to you in days to come.
Again with the fortune telling.
2 “Assemble and listen, sons of Jacob; listen to your father Israel.
Jacob/Israel. Stop confusing the poor kids. It’s even worse because Jacob is doing it himself.
3 “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might, the first sign of my strength, excelling in honor, excelling in power.
He allowed his brother to sell Joseph as a slave and never told his father and he’s called honourable? I think NOT!!!
4 Turbulent as the waters, you will no longer excel, for you went up onto your father’s bed, onto my couch and defiled it.
What? He just called him honourable and then says he defiled his couch? There is some strange thinking going on here.
5 “Simeon and Levi are brothers— their swords are weapons of violence.
6 Let me not enter their council, let me not join their assembly, for they have killed men in their anger and hamstrung oxen as they pleased.
Who was it that killed the Amorites with sword and bow? And Jacob has the gall to talk about Simeon and Levi in this manner? Hypocrisy at it’s finest.
7 Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel! I will scatter them in Jacob and disperse them in Israel.
That makes no sense whatsoever unless of course you are a priest and you’d find some way of making out it meant something that you could use to help keep your flock around. It’s crap. It was written by crap writers.
8 “Judah, your brothers will praise you; your hand will be on the neck of your enemies; your father’s sons will bow down to you.
This just tells Judah that he is better than others, will be able to kill his enemies and that others are unworthy. That’s a lovely lesson to teach people.
9 You are a lion’s cub, O Judah; you return from the prey, my son. Like a lion he crouches and lies down, like a lioness—who dares to rouse him?
10 The scepter will not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until he comes to whom it belongs and the obedience of the nations is his.
11 He will tether his donkey to a vine, his colt to the choicest branch; he will wash his garments in wine, his robes in the blood of grapes.
Why would we give a shit where he ties his ass or does his laundry?
12 His eyes will be darker than wine, his teeth whiter than milk.
If he was a good person, it wouldn’t matter if he was an ugly bastard.
13 “Zebulun will live by the seashore and become a haven for ships; his border will extend toward Sidon.
14 “Issachar is a rawboned donkey lying down between two saddlebags.
15 When he sees how good is his resting place and how pleasant is his land, he will bend his shoulder to the burden and submit to forced labor.
I don’t know whether I’d be insulted or not by that.
16 “Dan will provide justice for his people as one of the tribes of Israel.
17 Dan will be a serpent by the roadside, a viper along the path, that bites the horse’s heels so that its rider tumbles backward.
Well, that doesn’t sound nice at all.
18 “I look for your deliverance, O LORD.
19 “Gad will be attacked by a band of raiders, but he will attack them at their heels.
20 “Asher’s food will be rich; he will provide delicacies fit for a king.
21 “Naphtali is a doe set free that bears beautiful fawns.
22 “Joseph is a fruitful vine, a fruitful vine near a spring, whose branches climb over a wall.
23 With bitterness archers attacked him; they shot at him with hostility.
24 But his bow remained steady, his strong arms stayed limber, because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Shepherd, the Rock of Israel,
25 because of your father’s God, who helps you, because of the Almighty, who blesses you with blessings of the heavens above, blessings of the deep that lies below, blessings of the breast and womb.
26 Your father’s blessings are greater than the blessings of the ancient mountains, than the bounty of the age-old hills. Let all these rest on the head of Joseph, on the brow of the prince among his brothers.
The mountains can bless you?
27 “Benjamin is a ravenous wolf; in the morning he devours the prey, in the evening he divides the plunder.”
Not what I’d call a nice person either.
28 All these are the twelve tribes of Israel, and this is what their father said to them when he blessed them, giving each the blessing appropriate to him.
Just imagine if all this were true. It would mean that their is no free will whatsoever and that your future has all been laid out for you. That what I am writing is predestined and that you are not choosing to read this, but are just doing as God wishes. Every movement, every breath, every emotion, all laid out for you in advance. What then do you make of this world in which we are supposed to change and become like the rest of his sheep? We couldn’t. What we are doing now is what He wants us to do. It’s all crap, tripe and horse-feathers.
The Death of Jacob
29 Then he gave them these instructions: “I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite,
Ok, this is also rubbish. If all is predestined, then he wouldn’t need to give them instructions. Crap, tripe and horse-feathers again.
30 the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite, along with the field.
31 There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah.
32 The field and the cave in it were bought from the Hittites.”
33 When Jacob had finished giving instructions to his sons, he drew his feet up into the bed, breathed his last and was gathered to his people.
Considering God changed his name to Israel, for him to keep calling himself Jacob showed disrespect for God’s wishes. Then to start with the fortune telling, anticipating God’s wishes, shows a great deal of arrogance on his part. It’s more likely he was just suffering from dementia.
<< Genesis 48 Index Genesis 50 >>