Tagged: Joshua Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • DistroMan 20:00 on February 29, 2012 Permalink
    Tags: Chronicles, , , , , , index, , Joshua, , Kings, , , , , ,   

    Distro’s Bible Commentary: An Index 

    Warning: The Bible is a work of fiction and should not be taken literally. It contains verses descriptive of, or advocating suicide, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, sexual activity in a violet manner, murder, morbid violence, use of drugs or alcohol, homosexuality, voyeurism, revenge, animal cruelty, undermining of authority figures, lawlessness and human rights violations and atrocities.

    Exposure to contents for extended periods of time or during formative years in children may cause delusions, hallucinations, decreased cognitive and objective reasoning abilities, and, in extreme cases, pathological disorders, hatred, bigotry and violence including but not limited to fanaticism, murder and genocide.

    Genesis – Exodus – Leviticus – Numbers – Deuteronomy – Joshua – Judges – Ruth – 1-Samuel – 2 Samuel – 1 Kings – 2 Kings – 1 Chronicles – 2 Chronicles – Ezra – Nehemiah – Esther – Job – Psalms – Proverbs – Ecclesiastes – Song of Solomon – Isaiah – Jeremiah – Lamentations – Ezekiel – Daniel – Hosea – Joel – Amos – Obadiah – Jonah – Micah – Nahum – Habakkuk – Zephaniah – Haggai – Zechariah – Malachi – Matthew – Mark – Luke – John – Acts – Romans – 1 Corinthians – 2 Corinthians – Galatians – Ephesians – Philippians – Colossians – 1 Thessalonians – 2 Thessalonians – 1 Timothy – 2 Timothy – Titus – Philemon – Hebrews – James – 1 Peter – 2 Peter – 1 John – 2 John – 3 John – Jude – Revelation

    Genesis

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20

    21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – 32 – 33 – 34 – 35 – 36 – 37 – 38 – 39 – 40

    41 – 42 – 43 – 44 – 45 – 46 – 47 – 48 – 49 – 50 – My thoughts on Genesis

    Exodus

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – 32 – 33 – 34 – 35 – 36 – 37 – 38 – 39 – 40 – My thoughts on Exodus

    Leviticus

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – My thoughts on Leviticus

    Numbers

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – 32 – 33 – 34 – 35 – 36 – My thoughts on Numbers

    Deuteronomy

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – 32 – 33 – 34 – My thoughts on Deuteronomy

    Joshua

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – My thoughts on Joshua

    Judges

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – My thoughts on Judges

    Ruth

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – My thoughts on Ruth

    1-Samuel

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – My thoughts on 1-Samuel

    2-Samuel

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – My thoughts on 2-Samuel

    1-Kings

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – My thoughts on 1-Kings

    2-Kings

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – My thoughts on 2-Kings

    1-Chronicles

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – My thoughts on 1-Chronicles

    2-Chronicles

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – 32 – 33 – 34 – 35 – 36 – My thoughts on 2-Chronicles

    Ezra

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – My thoughts on Ezra

    Nehemiah

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – My thoughts on Nehemiah

    Esther

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – My thoughts on Esther

    Job

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – 32 – 33 – 34 – 35 – 36 – 37 – 38 – 39 – 40 – 41 – 42 – My thoughts on Job

    Psalms

    1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8 – 9 – 10 – 11 – 12 – 13 – 14 – 15 – 16 – 17 – 18 – 19 – 20 – 21 – 22 – 23 – 24 – 25 – 26 – 27 – 28 – 29 – 30 – 31 – 32 – 33 – 34 – 35 – 36 – 37 – 38 – 39 – 40 – 41 – 42 – 43 – 44 – 45 – 46 – 47 – 48 – 49 – 50 – 51 – 52 – 53 – 54 – 55 – 56 – 57 – 58 – 59 – 60 – 61 – 62 – 63 – 64 – 65 – 66 – 67 – 68 – 69 – 70 – 71 – 72 – 73 – 74 – 75 – 76 – 77 – 78 – 79 – 80 – 81 – 82 – 83 – 84 – 85 – 86 – 87 – 88 – 89 – 90 – 91 – 92 – 93 – 94 – 95 – 96 – 97 – 98 – 99 – 100 – 101 – 102 – 103 – 104 – 105 – 106 – 107 – 108 – 109 – 110 – 111 – 112 – 113 – 114 – 115 – 116 – 117 – 118

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 23, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , Joshua, , , , , , , ,   

    Joshua: The Post Mortem 

    Joshua: What was it all about?

    So far we have seen quite a bit of ‘God said this’ and ‘God said that’, but not once have we seen why he wanted any of the things we’ve read about.  There has been no explanation whatsoever  as to why he created anything.  No explanation as to why he chose the Israelites to be ‘his people’.  Even once he had chosen them there was no explanation as to what he really wanted to do with them.  All that has happened is that he has bullied and cajoled them into endless wanderings in the desert along with turning them all into murderers and thieves.  When you remember the ‘do unto others’ rule, you have to wonder how that equals God helping one group over another.  How does it line up with what he taught the Israelites to do to others?  Stealing?  In what universe is that moral?  Rape?  Animal Cruelty?  Where do these things fit in with a ‘moral code’?

    Innocent people, millions of them by the sounds of things, have died horrible deaths at the hands of the Israelites, and at the urging of God.

    This book may have had small sections talking about taking care of each other, but that is only to do with the Israelites themselves.  Nobody else is treated with kindness except a few of their slaves and foreigners living amongst them.  Everybody else is nothing more than fodder for their military machine.  Goodness should not be selective, so the bible fails miserably here.

    A compassionate god does not teach people to go about massacring men, women and children, cities at a time.  The greed with which the bible has God wanting all precious items, e.g., gold and silver, is beyond belief.  Then to kill an offender who was even willing to admit to his so called offense is typically unjust.  Giving all this land that they stole to the Israelites as an ‘inheritance’ and making out that this is a good thing God is doing boggles the imagination.  Honestly, logic seems to be a word completely lost on the followers of this book.  How can anyone read this and seriously interpret it as a book to model their lives on?

    I realise I have only managed 6 of 66 books thus far, but even so, you would think that would be enough to have found at least one really good story to tell children about how to be a good person and why they should be so.  I’ve seen nothing that comes close.  I have though, seen plenty that should have humanity screaming for this book to be relegated to the pits of a fiery hell all of it’s own.

    << Joshua 24      Index      Judges 1 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:25 on January 22, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , Joshua, , , , , ,   

    Joshua 24: The Throw Away Gods 

    Joshua: Part 24 of 24
    The Covenant Renewed at Shechem

    1 Then Joshua assembled all the tribes of Israel at Shechem. He summoned the elders, leaders, judges and officials of Israel, and they presented themselves before God.

    2 Joshua said to all the people, “This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘Long ago your ancestors, including Terah the father of Abraham and Nahor, lived beyond the Euphrates River and worshiped other gods.

    Notice they aren’t saying false gods.  It is an admission that even they thought there were other gods.

    3 But I took your father Abraham from the land beyond the Euphrates and led him throughout Canaan and gave him many descendants. I gave him Isaac,

    I’m still trying to understand what the criteria were for choosing this lot to be ‘his people’ in the first place.  Would it not make more sense to choose the people already living in this areas, show yourself to them once a year promising bumper crops?

    4 and to Isaac I gave Jacob and Esau. I assigned the hill country of Seir to Esau, but Jacob and his family went down to Egypt.

    Aaaaaand, I’d like to know what the purpose is behind God’s plan.  Why even create all this, why create man, why pit one group against another, why so much violence and bloodshed?

    5 “‘Then I sent Moses and Aaron, and I afflicted the Egyptians by what I did there, and I brought you out.

    Whereas you could have just made them either happy that the Israelites were leaving or had them totally forget about them.  But no, you have to be all theatrical on their arse and make a big production out of it.  Who do you think you are?  Cecil B Jehovah?

    6 When I brought your people out of Egypt, you came to the sea, and the Egyptians pursued them with chariots and horsemen as far as the Red Sea.

    7 But they cried to the LORD for help, and he put darkness between you and the Egyptians; he brought the sea over them and covered them. You saw with your own eyes what I did to the Egyptians. Then you lived in the wilderness for a long time.

    He could have just closed it behind you so they couldn’t enter and there would have been less loss of life.  To easy?  Not enough suffering maybe?

    8 “‘I brought you to the land of the Amorites who lived east of the Jordan. They fought against you, but I gave them into your hands. I destroyed them from before you, and you took possession of their land.

    9 When Balak son of Zippor, the king of Moab, prepared to fight against Israel, he sent for Balaam son of Beor to put a curse on you.

    10 But I would not listen to Balaam, so he blessed you again and again, and I delivered you out of his hand.

    11 “‘Then you crossed the Jordan and came to Jericho. The citizens of Jericho fought against you, as did also the Amorites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hittites, Girgashites, Hivites and Jebusites, but I gave them into your hands.

    Brag, brag, brag, blah, blah, blah…

    12 I sent the hornet ahead of you, which drove them out before you—also the two Amorite kings. You did not do it with your own sword and bow.

    13 So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant.’

    No, you didn’t toil there or build.  You killed and stole.  Bastards!

    14 “Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the LORD.

    If you can throw away gods, what bloody good are they?

    15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

    16 Then the people answered, “Far be it from us to forsake the LORD to serve other gods!

    Yeah man, what kind of idiots do you take them for huh?  Diss The Lord and get fried?  Nuh Uh!  :)

    17 It was the LORD our God himself who brought us and our parents up out of Egypt, from that land of slavery, and performed those great signs before our eyes. He protected us on our entire journey and among all the nations through which we traveled.

    18 And the LORD drove out before us all the nations, including the Amorites, who lived in the land. We too will serve the LORD, because he is our God.”

    But only because you’re so damn shit scared of him.

    19 Joshua said to the people, “You are not able to serve the LORD. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins.

    20 If you forsake the LORD and serve foreign gods, he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, after he has been good to you.”

    Yeah, threaten the little bastards with gloom and doom.  Sounds just like going to church these days.

    21 But the people said to Joshua, “No! We will serve the LORD.”

    Sock Puppets!!

    22 Then Joshua said, “You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen to serve the LORD.” “Yes, we are witnesses,” they replied.

    “You are dickheads!”  “Yes, we are dickheads!”

    23 “Now then,” said Joshua, “throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the LORD, the God of Israel.”

    Before he rips them out, has them smoked and thrown away with all the other meat wasted on him!

    24 And the people said to Joshua, “We will serve the LORD our God and obey him.”

    25 On that day Joshua made a covenant for the people, and there at Shechem he reaffirmed for them decrees and laws.

    26 And Joshua recorded these things in the Book of the Law of God. Then he took a large stone and set it up there under the oak near the holy place of the LORD.

    27 “See!” he said to all the people. “This stone will be a witness against us. It has heard all the words the LORD has said to us. It will be a witness against you if you are untrue to your God.”

    28 Then Joshua dismissed the people, each to their own inheritance.

    A rock!  Yeah!  It’s going to speak to God and tell on you if you are naughty.

    Buried in the Promised Land

    29 After these things, Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died at the age of a hundred and ten.

    30 And they buried him in the land of his inheritance, at Timnath Serah in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash.

    Underground, near a rock, by a stream surrounded by trees with birds flying hither and yon.

    31 Israel served the LORD throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had experienced everything the LORD had done for Israel.

    32 And Joseph’s bones, which the Israelites had brought up from Egypt, were buried at Shechem in the tract of land that Jacob bought for a hundred pieces of silver from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem. This became the inheritance of Joseph’s descendants.

    33 And Eleazar son of Aaron died and was buried at Gibeah, which had been allotted to his son Phinehas in the hill country of Ephraim.

    Here endeth the lesson!  Thank God for that!!!

    << Joshua 23      Index      Joshua: The Post Mortem >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 21, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Joshua, , , , threats,   

    Joshua 23: You are past your ‘use by date’ dude. 

    Joshua: Part 23 of 24
    Joshua’s Farewell to the Leaders

    1 After a long time had passed and the LORD had given Israel rest from all their enemies around them, Joshua, by then a very old man,

    To say that God gave them rest also implies he was the cause of the unrest.  Which of course is true.

    2 summoned all Israel—their elders, leaders, judges and officials—and said to them: “I am very old.

    And the earth is round. Oh, sorry, you don’t know that yet do you.  Good ol’ God hasn’t told you.

    3 You yourselves have seen everything the LORD your God has done to all these nations for your sake; it was the LORD your God who fought for you.

    Fought?  Are you freaking joking?  Who would he have to fight?  He just zaps you and you’re gone.  That isn’t fighting.  He allowed you to suffer, caused you even more suffering and still hasn’t even told you the earth is round.  He’s giving you a hard time and laughing at you.  You are nothing but a game, a group of people he can play with like children do with ants.

    4 Remember how I have allotted as an inheritance for your tribes all the land of the nations that remain—the nations I conquered—between the Jordan and the Mediterranean Sea in the west.

    5 The LORD your God himself will push them out for your sake. He will drive them out before you, and you will take possession of their land, as the LORD your God promised you.

    Good to see some admission that it IS their land and that God himself is helping you steal it.

    6 “Be very strong; be careful to obey all that is written in the Book of the Law of Moses, without turning aside to the right or to the left.

    Do not turn left, do not turn right, do not pass go, do not collect 200 drachmas.  Go directly to hell for all the evil acts you have committed.

    7 Do not associate with these nations that remain among you; do not invoke the names of their gods or swear by them. You must not serve them or bow down to them.

    No, keep right away from them. God doesn’t want you learning facts from people. How could he control you if you ever found out the truth?

    8 But you are to hold fast to the LORD your God, as you have until now.

    9 “The LORD has driven out before you great and powerful nations; to this day no one has been able to withstand you.

    10 One of you routs a thousand, because the LORD your God fights for you, just as he promised.

    11 So be very careful to love the LORD your God.

    12 “But if you turn away and ally yourselves with the survivors of these nations that remain among you and if you intermarry with them and associate with them,

    13 then you may be sure that the LORD your God will no longer drive out these nations before you. Instead, they will become snares and traps for you, whips on your backs and thorns in your eyes, until you perish from this good land, which the LORD your God has given you.

    Well, they have done that and they are still there despite all your bullshit and bluster.  Wake up dude, you’re a has been.  You are superfluous to requirements.  Go away!

    14 “Now I am about to go the way of all the earth. You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the LORD your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled; not one has failed.

    You keep thinking that if it makes you feel better.  He’s killed millions of your own people, doesn’t talk to you when you really need it, forces you to mutilate your male children, makes you commit horrible crimes against innocent men, women and children.  If there really is a compassionate, all loving god, then yours ain’t it!  Wake up and smell the decomposing stench of  the religion you follow.

    15 But just as all the good things the LORD your God has promised you have come to you, so he will bring on you all the evil things he has threatened, until the LORD your God has destroyed you from this good land he has given you.

    16 If you violate the covenant of the LORD your God, which he commanded you, and go and serve other gods and bow down to them, the LORD’s anger will burn against you, and you will quickly perish from the good land he has given you.”

    Both these statements are obviously false.  Plenty of ‘his people’ have violated this ridiculous covenant and they still live there.  He has done nothing. Why do you think your parents tell you that you need to be asleep for the tooth fairy to come?  Why do you need to be asleep for Santa to come?  Because they are all made up!  Fairy Tales.  God is just one for the grown-ups as well.

    << Joshua 22      Index      Joshua 24 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 20, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Joshua, , , ,   

    Joshua 22: Push me, push you! 

    Joshua: Part 22 of 24
    Eastern Tribes Return Home

    1 Then Joshua summoned the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh

    2 and said to them, “You have done all that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded, and you have obeyed me in everything I commanded.

    You’re good little boys, would you like a sweet?  Just step into my tent…

    3 For a long time now—to this very day—you have not deserted your fellow Israelites but have carried out the mission the LORD your God gave you.

    4 Now that the LORD your God has given them rest as he promised, return to your homes in the land that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you on the other side of the Jordan.

    5 But be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD gave you: to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, to keep his commands, to hold fast to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.”

    Kill and slaughter, maim and torture, hack and slash, burn and smash.  Give it your all.

    6 Then Joshua blessed them and sent them away, and they went to their homes.

    Off to put their little heads down on their fluffy pillows without a thought to all the evil they had committed to get that land.

    7 (To the half-tribe of Manasseh Moses had given land in Bashan, and to the other half of the tribe Joshua gave land on the west side of the Jordan along with their fellow Israelites.) When Joshua sent them home, he blessed them,

    8 saying, “Return to your homes with your great wealth—with large herds of livestock, with silver, gold, bronze and iron, and a great quantity of clothing—and divide the plunder from your enemies with your fellow Israelites.”

    plunder

    vb
    1. to steal (valuables, goods, sacred items, etc.) from (a town, church, etc.) by force, esp in time of war; loot
    2. (tr) to rob or steal (choice or desirable things) from (a place) to plunder an orchard
    n
    1. anything taken by plundering or theft; booty
    2. the act of plundering; pillage

    Is this really the example we wish to set for our children and future generations?  How are we ever to live in peace on this planet if we follow this warmongering book?

    9 So the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh left the Israelites at Shiloh in Canaan to return to Gilead, their own land, which they had acquired in accordance with the command of the LORD through Moses.

    There’s your smoking gun.

    10 When they came to Geliloth near the Jordan in the land of Canaan, the Reubenites, the Gadites and the half-tribe of Manasseh built an imposing altar there by the Jordan.

    11 And when the Israelites heard that they had built the altar on the border of Canaan at Geliloth near the Jordan on the Israelite side,

    12 the whole assembly of Israel gathered at Shiloh to go to war against them.

    You couldn’t ask them to move it?  Diplomacy mean nothing to you people?

    13 So the Israelites sent Phinehas son of Eleazar, the priest, to the land of Gilead—to Reuben, Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh.

    Aren’t you all Israelites though?  How could the whole assembly gather against them if they are gathering against Israelites to begin with?

    14 With him they sent ten of the chief men, one from each of the tribes of Israel, each the head of a family division among the Israelite clans.

    15 When they went to Gilead—to Reuben, Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh—they said to them:

    16 “The whole assembly of the LORD says: ‘How could you break faith with the God of Israel like this? How could you turn away from the LORD and build yourselves an altar in rebellion against him now?

    17 Was not the sin of Peor enough for us? Up to this very day we have not cleansed ourselves from that sin, even though a plague fell on the community of the LORD!

    18 And are you now turning away from the LORD? “‘If you rebel against the LORD today, tomorrow he will be angry with the whole community of Israel.

    19 If the land you possess is defiled, come over to the LORD’s land, where the LORD’s tabernacle stands, and share the land with us. But do not rebel against the LORD or against us by building an altar for yourselves, other than the altar of the LORD our God.

    20 When Achan son of Zerah was unfaithful in regard to the devoted things, did not wrath come on the whole community of Israel? He was not the only one who died for his sin.’”

    So one lot of warmongering Israelites think another lot of warmongering Israelites have built an altar to some fairy godfather other than ‘God’?  What makes them think that?  All it says is that they built an altar.  Why not go and find out what the altar is about first before getting ready for war?

    21 Then Reuben, Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh replied to the heads of the clans of Israel:

    22 “The Mighty One, God, the LORD! The Mighty One, God, the LORD! He knows! And let Israel know! If this has been in rebellion or disobedience to the LORD, do not spare us this day.

    23 If we have built our own altar to turn away from the LORD and to offer burnt offerings and grain offerings, or to sacrifice fellowship offerings on it, may the LORD himself call us to account.

    24 “No! We did it for fear that some day your descendants might say to ours, ‘What do you have to do with the LORD, the God of Israel?

    25 The LORD has made the Jordan a boundary between us and you—you Reubenites and Gadites! You have no share in the LORD.’ So your descendants might cause ours to stop fearing the LORD.

    26 “That is why we said, ‘Let us get ready and build an altar—but not for burnt offerings or sacrifices.’

    27 On the contrary, it is to be a witness between us and you and the generations that follow, that we will worship the LORD at his sanctuary with our burnt offerings, sacrifices and fellowship offerings. Then in the future your descendants will not be able to say to ours, ‘You have no share in the LORD.’

    28 “And we said, ‘If they ever say this to us, or to our descendants, we will answer: Look at the replica of the LORD’s altar, which our ancestors built, not for burnt offerings and sacrifices, but as a witness between us and you.’

    If’s, and’s, but’s and maybe’s.  All this crap about something that may or may not happen sometime in the future.  This doesn’t sound like ‘one people’ to me.

    29 “Far be it from us to rebel against the LORD and turn away from him today by building an altar for burnt offerings, grain offerings and sacrifices, other than the altar of the LORD our God that stands before his tabernacle.”

    30 When Phinehas the priest and the leaders of the community—the heads of the clans of the Israelites—heard what Reuben, Gad and Manasseh had to say, they were pleased.

    31 And Phinehas son of Eleazar, the priest, said to Reuben, Gad and Manasseh, “Today we know that the LORD is with us, because you have not been unfaithful to the LORD in this matter. Now you have rescued the Israelites from the LORD’s hand.”

    That’s a strange way to talk about a supposed compassionate and loving god is it not?  You need rescuing from him?

    32 Then Phinehas son of Eleazar, the priest, and the leaders returned to Canaan from their meeting with the Reubenites and Gadites in Gilead and reported to the Israelites.

    33 They were glad to hear the report and praised God. And they talked no more about going to war against them to devastate the country where the Reubenites and the Gadites lived.

    They shouldn’t have been thinking about it in the first place.

    34 And the Reubenites and the Gadites gave the altar this name: A Witness Between Us—that the LORD is God.

    You should have called it Bob.  I like Bob.

    << Joshua 21      Index      Joshua 23 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 19, 2011 Permalink
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    Joshua 21: Move along, nothing to see here… 

    Joshua: Part 21 of 24
    Towns for the Levites

    This is just as boring as the last load of rubbish we’ve been presented with.  All that happens here is that the Levites get a load of land and towns which of course isn’t an inheritance.  Nooooo, not an inheritance.  I don’t understand what it IS though.  They are getting just as much land, towns and other crap as any other tribe and yet it’s called something different.  Playing with semantics is getting kinda common in this book.

    1 Now the family heads of the Levites approached Eleazar the priest, Joshua son of Nun, and the heads of the other tribal families of Israel

    2 at Shiloh in Canaan and said to them, “The LORD commanded through Moses that you give us towns to live in, with pasturelands for our livestock.”

    3 So, as the LORD had commanded, the Israelites gave the Levites the following towns and pasturelands out of their own inheritance:

    4 The first lot came out for the Kohathites, according to their clans. The Levites who were descendants of Aaron the priest were allotted thirteen towns from the tribes of Judah, Simeon and Benjamin.

    5 The rest of Kohath’s descendants were allotted ten towns from the clans of the tribes of Ephraim, Dan and half of Manasseh.

    6 The descendants of Gershon were allotted thirteen towns from the clans of the tribes of Issachar, Asher, Naphtali and the half-tribe of Manasseh in Bashan.

    7 The descendants of Merari, according to their clans, received twelve towns from the tribes of Reuben, Gad and Zebulun.

    8 So the Israelites allotted to the Levites these towns and their pasturelands, as the LORD had commanded through Moses.

    9 From the tribes of Judah and Simeon they allotted the following towns by name

    10 (these towns were assigned to the descendants of Aaron who were from the Kohathite clans of the Levites, because the first lot fell to them):

    11 They gave them Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron), with its surrounding pastureland, in the hill country of Judah. (Arba was the forefather of Anak.)

    12 But the fields and villages around the city they had given to Caleb son of Jephunneh as his possession.

    13 So to the descendants of Aaron the priest they gave Hebron (a city of refuge for one accused of murder), Libnah,

    14 Jattir, Eshtemoa,

    15 Holon, Debir,

    16 Ain, Juttah and Beth Shemesh, together with their pasturelands—nine towns from these two tribes.

    17 And from the tribe of Benjamin they gave them Gibeon, Geba,

    18 Anathoth and Almon, together with their pasturelands—four towns.

    19 The total number of towns for the priests, the descendants of Aaron, came to thirteen, together with their pasturelands.

    20 The rest of the Kohathite clans of the Levites were allotted towns from the tribe of Ephraim:

    21 In the hill country of Ephraim they were given Shechem (a city of refuge for one accused of murder) and Gezer,

    22 Kibzaim and Beth Horon, together with their pasturelands—four towns.

    23 Also from the tribe of Dan they received Eltekeh, Gibbethon,

    24 Aijalon and Gath Rimmon, together with their pasturelands—four towns.

    25 From half the tribe of Manasseh they received Taanach and Gath Rimmon, together with their pasturelands—two towns.

    26 All these ten towns and their pasturelands were given to the rest of the Kohathite clans.

    27 The Levite clans of the Gershonites were given: from the half-tribe of Manasseh, Golan in Bashan (a city of refuge for one accused of murder) and Be Eshterah, together with their pasturelands—two towns;

    28 from the tribe of Issachar, Kishion, Daberath,

    29 Jarmuth and En Gannim, together with their pasturelands—four towns;

    30 from the tribe of Asher, Mishal, Abdon,

    31 Helkath and Rehob, together with their pasturelands—four towns;

    32 from the tribe of Naphtali, Kedesh in Galilee (a city of refuge for one accused of murder), Hammoth Dor and Kartan, together with their pasturelands—three towns.

    33 The total number of towns of the Gershonite clans came to thirteen, together with their pasturelands.

    34 The Merarite clans (the rest of the Levites) were given: from the tribe of Zebulun, Jokneam, Kartah,

    35 Dimnah and Nahalal, together with their pasturelands—four towns;

    36 from the tribe of Reuben, Bezer, Jahaz,

    37 Kedemoth and Mephaath, together with their pasturelands—four towns;

    38 from the tribe of Gad, Ramoth in Gilead (a city of refuge for one accused of murder), Mahanaim,

    39 Heshbon and Jazer, together with their pasturelands—four towns in all.

    40 The total number of towns allotted to the Merarite clans, who were the rest of the Levites, came to twelve.

    41 The towns of the Levites in the territory held by the Israelites were forty-eight in all, together with their pasturelands.

    42 Each of these towns had pasturelands surrounding it; this was true for all these towns.

    43 So the LORD gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their ancestors, and they took possession of it and settled there.

    44 The LORD gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their ancestors. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the LORD gave all their enemies into their hands.

    45 Not one of all the LORD’s good promises to Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.

    Yeah, that’s why that area is a shit pit of trouble today.  God really kept his word there didn’t he.  I’m looking forward to God getting rid of this guy just so we can get on to something more interesting than land division.

    << Joshua 20      Index      Joshua 22 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 18, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Joshua, , , , , ,   

    Joshua 20: Deja Vu? 

    Joshua: Part 20 of 24
    Cities of Refuge

    1 Then the LORD said to Joshua:

    Hey what?  For a second I thought Bob was back!!!  (reference to Moses in older posts)

    2 “Tell the Israelites to designate the cities of refuge, as I instructed you through Moses,

    Oh cool, we’ll have this city for badminton and that one over there on the top of the hill for astronomy.

    3 so that anyone who kills a person accidentally and unintentionally may flee there and find protection from the avenger of blood.

    Ah crap, it’s this stuff again.  We’ve already been through this.  We get it.  Do we really need 300 ways of being told not to pick our noses before you move onto something meaningful?

    4 When they flee to one of these cities, they are to stand in the entrance of the city gate and state their case before the elders of that city. Then the elders are to admit the fugitive into their city and provide a place to live among them.

    So someone kills another person, runs to this designated city, pleads innocent and that is all it takes to get refuge and freedom?  Maybe if people didn’t know for certain they could get away with it they wouldn’t commit the crime in the first place.

    5 If the avenger of blood comes in pursuit, the elders must not surrender the fugitive, because the fugitive killed their neighbor unintentionally and without malice aforethought.

    No, he only states that.  You’ve said nothing about investigation.

    6 They are to stay in that city until they have stood trial before the assembly and until the death of the high priest who is serving at that time. Then they may go back to their own home in the town from which they fled.”

    You’ve still said nothing about a verdict.  And what has the death of a priest got to do with anything? We are going over old ground here.

    7 So they set apart Kedesh in Galilee in the hill country of Naphtali, Shechem in the hill country of Ephraim, and Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the hill country of Judah.

    8 East of the Jordan (on the other side from Jericho) they designated Bezer in the wilderness on the plateau in the tribe of Reuben, Ramoth in Gilead in the tribe of Gad, and Golan in Bashan in the tribe of Manasseh.

    9 Any of the Israelites or any foreigner residing among them who killed someone accidentally could flee to these designated cities and not be killed by the avenger of blood prior to standing trial before the assembly.

    This is a stupid statement.  You are saying that someone who wasn’t innocent would not be able to flee successfully.  Morons.

    << Joshua 19      Index      Joshua 21 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 17, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Joshua, , , ,   

    Joshua 19: Land Allotment. Will this ever end? 

    Joshua: Part 19 of 24
    Allotment for Simeon

    Yes, you read it correctly.  They are just dividing up the spoils of war again.  This is about as boring as it could get. Well, I should be careful stating that as we have no idea what is to come.  They might surprise us yet.  But, if you are not interested in land allotment, skip to the bottom of the blog and save your sanity and time.  :)

    1 The second lot came out for the tribe of Simeon according to its clans. Their inheritance lay within the territory of Judah.

    2 It included: Beersheba (or Sheba), Moladah,

    3 Hazar Shual, Balah, Ezem,

    4 Eltolad, Bethul, Hormah,

    5 Ziklag, Beth Markaboth, Hazar Susah,

    6 Beth Lebaoth and Sharuhen—thirteen towns and their villages;

    7 Ain, Rimmon, Ether and Ashan—four towns and their villages—

    8 and all the villages around these towns as far as Baalath Beer (Ramah in the Negev). This was the inheritance of the tribe of the Simeonites, according to its clans.

    9 The inheritance of the Simeonites was taken from the share of Judah, because Judah’s portion was more than they needed. So the Simeonites received their inheritance within the territory of Judah.

    Allotment for Zebulun

    10 The third lot came up for Zebulun according to its clans: The boundary of their inheritance went as far as Sarid.

    11 Going west it ran to Maralah, touched Dabbesheth, and extended to the ravine near Jokneam.

    12 It turned east from Sarid toward the sunrise to the territory of Kisloth Tabor and went on to Daberath and up to Japhia.

    13 Then it continued eastward to Gath Hepher and Eth Kazin; it came out at Rimmon and turned toward Neah.

    14 There the boundary went around on the north to Hannathon and ended at the Valley of Iphtah El.

    15 Included were Kattath, Nahalal, Shimron, Idalah and Bethlehem. There were twelve towns and their villages.

    16 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of Zebulun, according to its clans.

    Allotment for Issachar

    17 The fourth lot came out for Issachar according to its clans.

    18 Their territory included: Jezreel, Kesulloth, Shunem,

    19 Hapharaim, Shion, Anaharath,

    20 Rabbith, Kishion, Ebez,

    21 Remeth, En Gannim, En Haddah and Beth Pazzez.

    22 The boundary touched Tabor, Shahazumah and Beth Shemesh, and ended at the Jordan. There were sixteen towns and their villages.

    23 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Issachar, according to its clans.

    Allotment for Asher

    24 The fifth lot came out for the tribe of Asher according to its clans.

    25 Their territory included: Helkath, Hali, Beten, Akshaph,

    26 Allammelek, Amad and Mishal. On the west the boundary touched Carmel and Shihor Libnath.

    27 It then turned east toward Beth Dagon, touched Zebulun and the Valley of Iphtah El, and went north to Beth Emek and Neiel, passing Kabul on the left.

    28 It went to Abdon, Rehob, Hammon and Kanah, as far as Greater Sidon.

    29 The boundary then turned back toward Ramah and went to the fortified city of Tyre, turned toward Hosah and came out at the Mediterranean Sea in the region of Akzib,

    30 Ummah, Aphek and Rehob. There were twenty-two towns and their villages.

    31 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Asher, according to its clans.

    Allotment for Naphtali

    32 The sixth lot came out for Naphtali according to its clans:

    33 Their boundary went from Heleph and the large tree in Zaanannim, passing Adami Nekeb and Jabneel to Lakkum and ending at the Jordan.

    34 The boundary ran west through Aznoth Tabor and came out at Hukkok. It touched Zebulun on the south, Asher on the west and the Jordan on the east.

    35 The fortified towns were Ziddim, Zer, Hammath, Rakkath, Kinnereth,

    36 Adamah, Ramah, Hazor,

    37 Kedesh, Edrei, En Hazor,

    38 Iron, Migdal El, Horem, Beth Anath and Beth Shemesh. There were nineteen towns and their villages.

    39 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Naphtali, according to its clans.

    Allotment for Dan

    40 The seventh lot came out for the tribe of Dan according to its clans.

    41 The territory of their inheritance included: Zorah, Eshtaol, Ir Shemesh,

    42 Shaalabbin, Aijalon, Ithlah,

    43 Elon, Timnah, Ekron,

    44 Eltekeh, Gibbethon, Baalath,

    45 Jehud, Bene Berak, Gath Rimmon,

    46 Me Jarkon and Rakkon, with the area facing Joppa.

    47 (When the territory of the Danites was lost to them, they went up and attacked Leshem, took it, put it to the sword and occupied it. They settled in Leshem and named it Dan after their ancestor.)

    48 These towns and their villages were the inheritance of the tribe of Dan, according to its clans.

    Allotment for Joshua

    49 When they had finished dividing the land into its allotted portions, the Israelites gave Joshua son of Nun an inheritance among them,

    50 as the LORD had commanded. They gave him the town he asked for—Timnath Serah in the hill country of Ephraim. And he built up the town and settled there.

    51 These are the territories that Eleazar the priest, Joshua son of Nun and the heads of the tribal clans of Israel assigned by lot at Shiloh in the presence of the LORD at the entrance to the tent of meeting. And so they finished dividing the land.

    Well, it’s about bloody time too.  This is quite honestly the most stupid crap you could put in a book purporting to be a guide to moral and ethical living.  What has land allotment to do with that?  Especially when all the land was stolen and cost millions of innocent lives.

    << Joshua 18 Index Joshua 20 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 15, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Joshua, , , , , , ,   

    Joshua 17: Where’s the goodness? 

    Joshua: Part 17 of 24

    So far this is nothing more than a story of a bunch of murdering thieves.  Will this change?  Are we about to see the first crumbs of goodness? We will see.

    1 This was the allotment for the tribe of Manasseh as Joseph’s firstborn, that is, for Makir, Manasseh’s firstborn. Makir was the ancestor of the Gileadites, who had received Gilead and Bashan because the Makirites were great soldiers.

    Hmm, no.

    2 So this allotment was for the rest of the people of Manasseh—the clans of Abiezer, Helek, Asriel, Shechem, Hepher and Shemida. These are the other male descendants of Manasseh son of Joseph by their clans.

    3 Now Zelophehad son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Makir, the son of Manasseh, had no sons but only daughters, whose names were Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milkah and Tirzah.

    Not yet.

    4 They went to Eleazar the priest, Joshua son of Nun, and the leaders and said, “The LORD commanded Moses to give us an inheritance among our relatives.” So Joshua gave them an inheritance along with the brothers of their father, according to the LORD’s command.

    5 Manasseh’s share consisted of ten tracts of land besides Gilead and Bashan east of the Jordan,

    6 because the daughters of the tribe of Manasseh received an inheritance among the sons. The land of Gilead belonged to the rest of the descendants of Manasseh.

    7 The territory of Manasseh extended from Asher to Mikmethath east of Shechem. The boundary ran southward from there to include the people living at En Tappuah.

    8 (Manasseh had the land of Tappuah, but Tappuah itself, on the boundary of Manasseh, belonged to the Ephraimites.)

    9 Then the boundary continued south to the Kanah Ravine. There were towns belonging to Ephraim lying among the towns of Manasseh, but the boundary of Manasseh was the northern side of the ravine and ended at the Mediterranean Sea.

    Not seeing it.

    10 On the south the land belonged to Ephraim, on the north to Manasseh. The territory of Manasseh reached the Mediterranean Sea and bordered Asher on the north and Issachar on the east.

    11 Within Issachar and Asher, Manasseh also had Beth Shan, Ibleam and the people of Dor, Endor, Taanach and Megiddo, together with their surrounding settlements (the third in the list is Naphoth).

    12 Yet the Manassites were not able to occupy these towns, for the Canaanites were determined to live in that region.

    13 However, when the Israelites grew stronger, they subjected the Canaanites to forced labor but did not drive them out completely.

    Could this be it?  Nah, this is slavery.

    14 The people of Joseph said to Joshua, “Why have you given us only one allotment and one portion for an inheritance? We are a numerous people, and the LORD has blessed us abundantly.”

    15 “If you are so numerous,” Joshua answered, “and if the hill country of Ephraim is too small for you, go up into the forest and clear land for yourselves there in the land of the Perizzites and Rephaites.”

    16 The people of Joseph replied, “The hill country is not enough for us, and all the Canaanites who live in the plain have chariots fitted with iron, both those in Beth Shan and its settlements and those in the Valley of Jezreel.”

    17 But Joshua said to the tribes of Joseph—to Ephraim and Manasseh—“You are numerous and very powerful. You will have not only one allotment

    18 but the forested hill country as well. Clear it, and its farthest limits will be yours; though the Canaanites have chariots fitted with iron and though they are strong, you can drive them out.”

    Yeah, go on another hack and slash foray!  You’re pretty used to it by now.  Well folks, we’ll have to wait for another day to see this supposed ‘goodness’ the bible contains.  My advice would be to NOT hold your breath. This could be a long ride.

    << Joshua 16      Index      Joshua 18 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on January 14, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , Joshua, , , ,   

    Joshua 16: Inhumane! Torture by boredom! 

    Joshua: Part 16 of 24
    Allotment for Ephraim and Manasseh

    1 The allotment for Joseph began at the Jordan, east of the springs of Jericho, and went up from there through the desert into the hill country of Bethel.

    Oh my.  Are they trying to torture us with boredom?

    2 It went on from Bethel (that is, Luz), crossed over to the territory of the Arkites in Ataroth,

    3 descended westward to the territory of the Japhletites as far as the region of Lower Beth Horon and on to Gezer, ending at the Mediterranean Sea.

    4 So Manasseh and Ephraim, the descendants of Joseph, received their inheritance.

    5 This was the territory of Ephraim, according to its clans: The boundary of their inheritance went from Ataroth Addar in the east to Upper Beth Horon

    6 and continued to the Mediterranean Sea. From Mikmethath on the north it curved eastward to Taanath Shiloh, passing by it to Janoah on the east.

    7 Then it went down from Janoah to Ataroth and Naarah, touched Jericho and came out at the Jordan.

    8 From Tappuah the border went west to the Kanah Ravine and ended at the Mediterranean Sea. This was the inheritance of the tribe of the Ephraimites, according to its clans.

    9 It also included all the towns and their villages that were set aside for the Ephraimites within the inheritance of the Manassites.

    10 They did not dislodge the Canaanites living in Gezer; to this day the Canaanites live among the people of Ephraim but are required to do forced labor.

    Seems so.  :(

    << Joshua 15      Index      Joshua 17 >>

     

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