Genesis 27: Did anyone hear what God said?
Genesis: Part 27 of 50
Jacob Gets Isaac’s Blessing
1 When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could no longer see, he called for Esau his older son and said to him, “My son.”
“Here I am,” he answered.
2 Isaac said, “I am now an old man and don’t know the day of my death.
3 Now then, get your weapons—your quiver and bow—and go out to the open country to hunt some wild game for me.
I’m dying kid, so go kill something.
4 Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me to eat, so that I may give you my blessing before I die.”
5 Now Rebekah was listening as Isaac spoke to his son Esau. When Esau left for the open country to hunt game and bring it back,
Eavesdropping huh? Lovely.
6 Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “Look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau,
7 ‘Bring me some game and prepare me some tasty food to eat, so that I may give you my blessing in the presence of the LORD before I die.’
8 Now, my son, listen carefully and do what I tell you:
9 Go out to the flock and bring me two choice young goats, so I can prepare some tasty food for your father, just the way he likes it.
10 Then take it to your father to eat, so that he may give you his blessing before he dies.”
11 Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, “But my brother Esau is a hairy man, and I’m a man with smooth skin.
12 What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking him and would bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing.”
What if? How about, “no, that would be wrong mother”? Only worried about his own neck.
13 His mother said to him, “My son, let the curse fall on me. Just do what I say; go and get them for me.”
Just as much his fault for committing the sin, so the curse should fall upon both.
14 So he went and got them and brought them to his mother, and she prepared some tasty food, just the way his father liked it.
15 Then Rebekah took the best clothes of Esau her older son, which she had in the house, and put them on her younger son Jacob.
16 She also covered his hands and the smooth part of his neck with the goatskins.
17 Then she handed to her son Jacob the tasty food and the bread she had made.
Such strong family ties.
18 He went to his father and said, “My father.”
“Yes, my son,” he answered. “Who is it?”
19 Jacob said to his father, “I am Esau your firstborn. I have done as you told me. Please sit up and eat some of my game so that you may give me your blessing.”
Lies, lies and more lies. Such strength of character God instilled in these people.
20 Isaac asked his son, “How did you find it so quickly, my son?”
“The LORD your God gave me success,” he replied.
Ah, lying about God. So where is the big fella? He’s omniscient so he knows what is going on here. Why is he not stepping in?
21 Then Isaac said to Jacob, “Come near so I can touch you, my son, to know whether you really are my son Esau or not.”
22 Jacob went close to his father Isaac, who touched him and said, “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.”
What a crock. Even an old man would know the difference between goat skin and a human hand.
23 He did not recognize him, for his hands were hairy like those of his brother Esau; so he blessed him.
24 “Are you really my son Esau?” he asked.
“I am,” he replied.
There’s trust for you. Such a close family it brings a tear to my eye. 
25 Then he said, “My son, bring me some of your game to eat, so that I may give you my blessing.” Jacob brought it to him and he ate; and he brought some wine and he drank.
Isaac would also have known the difference between wild game and a goat from his own herd.
26 Then his father Isaac said to him, “Come here, my son, and kiss me.”
Slip him the tongue Jacob.
27 So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, “Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed.
28 May God give you of heaven’s dew and of earth’s richness— an abundance of grain and new wine.
29 May nations serve you and peoples bow down to you. Be lord over your brothers, and may the sons of your mother bow down to you.
May those who curse you be cursed and those who bless you be blessed.”
30 After Isaac finished blessing him and Jacob had scarcely left his father’s presence, his brother Esau came in from hunting.
Here’s the bit where you are supposed to be on the edge of your seat.
31 He too prepared some tasty food and brought it to his father. Then he said to him, “My father, sit up and eat some of my game, so that you may give me your blessing.”
32 His father Isaac asked him, “Who are you?”
“I am your son,” he answered, “your firstborn, Esau.”
33 Isaac trembled violently and said, “Who was it, then, that hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it just before you came and I blessed him—and indeed he will be blessed!”
34 When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!”
35 But he said, “Your brother came deceitfully and took your blessing.”
36 Esau said, “Isn’t he rightly named Jacob? He has deceived me these two times: He took my birthright, and now he’s taken my blessing!” Then he asked, “Haven’t you reserved any blessing for me?”
What, you can’t take back a blessing once you know you were deceived? God’s rules suck.
37 Isaac answered Esau, “I have made him lord over you and have made all his relatives his servants, and I have sustained him with grain and new wine. So what can I possibly do for you, my son?”
Curse Jacob you moron.
38 Esau said to his father, “Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!” Then Esau wept aloud.
39 His father Isaac answered him, “Your dwelling will be away from the earth’s richness, away from the dew of heaven above.
40 You will live by the sword and you will serve your brother. But when you grow restless, you will throw his yoke from off your neck.”
That’s the way. Put one brother against the other and make them fight to the death. This is more like what I’ve come to expect.
Jacob Flees to Laban
41 Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”
42 When Rebekah was told what her older son Esau had said, she sent for her younger son Jacob and said to him, “Your brother Esau is consoling himself with the thought of killing you.
Told by whom may I ask?
43 Now then, my son, do what I say: Flee at once to my brother Laban in Haran.
Yeah, run away you cowardly little snot.
44 Stay with him for a while until your brother’s fury subsides.
As if it would.
45 When your brother is no longer angry with you and forgets what you did to him, I’ll send word for you to come back from there. Why should I lose both of you in one day?”
46 Then Rebekah said to Isaac, “I’m disgusted with living because of these Hittite women. If Jacob takes a wife from among the women of this land, from Hittite women like these, my life will not be worth living.”
This is a form of racism. All I can say is, “in Gods image”.
Greybeard is discussing. 
"If the true believers are going to heaven together at the same time, that means we’re going to be left here without them".
I like that bit. Roll on the rapture so we can organise a fair and decent society without having to pander to religion all the time.
If only it were true!