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  • DistroMan 20:00 on December 14, 2010 Permalink
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    Deuteronomy 21: Vile and Barbaric Behaviour! 

    Deuteronomy: Part 21 of 34
    Atonement for an Unsolved Murder

    1 If someone is found slain, lying in a field in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess, and it is not known who the killer was,

    2 your elders and judges shall go out and measure the distance from the body to the neighboring towns.

    3 Then the elders of the town nearest the body shall take a heifer that has never been worked and has never worn a yoke

    4 and lead it down to a valley that has not been plowed or planted and where there is a flowing stream. There in the valley they are to break the heifer’s neck.

    Oh please, how can breaking the neck of an innocent animal do any good?  This is just the type of superstitious claptrap that should have everybody running away from religion as fast as their feet will allow them.  Turn your backs on this barbaric rubbish and begin to lead normal lives with real meaning instead of bowing and scraping to priests that are lying to you just so that you will continue to give and give and give so they don’t have to do a normal days work.  They are bludging off you and you are letting them.  All in the name of a non-existent bloodthirsty being that should be thought of more as a lesson in what NOT to do.

    5 The Levitical priests shall step forward, for the LORD your God has chosen them to minister and to pronounce blessings in the name of the LORD and to decide all cases of dispute and assault.

    6 Then all the elders of the town nearest the body shall wash their hands over the heifer whose neck was broken in the valley,

    More woo.

    7 and they shall declare: “Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it done.

    Just what good does this do?  If they didn’t do it in the first place, God knows that.  He doesn’t need to be told.  If they did do it, then he knows that too and so do they.  So why the melodrama?

    8 Accept this atonement for your people Israel, whom you have redeemed, LORD, and do not hold your people guilty of the blood of an innocent person.” Then the bloodshed will be atoned for,

    How can innocent people atone for something they didn’t do?  That is up to the guilty.  This is yet another reason the bible is a morally bad book.  It teaches people that they can commit crimes and someone else will fix it for them so they don’t have to be held responsible for their actions.  Reprehensible rubbish.

    9 and you will have purged from yourselves the guilt of shedding innocent blood, since you have done what is right in the eyes of the LORD.

    How is there guilt if you didn’t do it in the first place?

    Marrying a Captive Woman

    10 When you go to war against your enemies and the LORD your God delivers them into your hands and you take captives,

    11 if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife.

    She doesn’t have a say in this I suppose?

    12 Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails

    Why?

    13 and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife.

    That is rape and the bible condones it.  Evil book.

    14 If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her.

    God has dishonoured her.  The slave owner acting on God’s words has also dishonoured her.

    The Right of the Firstborn

    15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love,

    16 when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love.

    17 He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father’s strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him.

    Just for a minute there I thought I was going to read something I agreed with, but then you stuffed it up.  There should be no double share whatsoever.  One son is as deserving as the other and they should be treated equally in all dealings.  Anything else can set one against the other and no parent should allow that.

    A Rebellious Son

    18 If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him,

    19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town.

    If they’ve tried all they can and he still rebels, I’d kick his scrawny arse out of town too.

    20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.”

    What has it got to do with them?

    21 Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

    Being rebellious is not being evil and is certainly not deserving of being stoned to death.  Is death all that this god has on his mind?  Vile behaviour by one that is supposed to be a loving and merciful father figure.  Except that he is more of a vile, loathsome, evil, hateful, bloodthirsty son-of-a-bitch who isn’t deserving of being a father under any circumstances!

    Various Laws

    22 If someone guilty of a capital offense is put to death and their body is exposed on a pole,

    Why would you do that?  It’s bad enough that you kill people, but now you put them on display like some kind of carnival sideshow.  That kind of gruesome behaviour never has, does not now and never will be a deterrent to others committing the same crimes.  It is just barbaric and shameful.

    23 you must not leave the body hanging on the pole overnight. Be sure to bury it that same day, because anyone who is hung on a pole is under God’s curse. You must not desecrate the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

    You’ve already shamed yourself by doing that to the body.

    << Deuteronomy 20      Index      Deuteronomy 22 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on December 13, 2010 Permalink
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    Deuteronomy 20: Make war, not love, then kill ‘em all. 

    Deuteronomy: Part 20 of 34
    Going to War

    1 When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you.

    Something I have left pretty much alone until now is the point that, to me at least, a book that purports to be a good moral guide for people should at least make some small attempt to get people to NOT go to war unless provoked beyond reason.  This book though, does exactly the opposite.  Here, God tells his chosen people to make war against those who aren’t even contemplating war themselves.  Do they have armies?  Yes, they probably do, but who wouldn’t when you live in a part of the world known for conquering one another at the drop of a hat.  But to have your God promote war to the extent that the Bible says he does is downright immoral.  Nobody these days, especially Christians, thinks that going to war against another nation is a good idea, whether the other country is in the wrong or not.  So how come all these peace loving Christians can love this book that so obviously goes against one of their most cherished beliefs?  Is it that it’s alright because God wanted it?  Is it the old ‘it was another time and that is how they did things’ argument?  They are pathetic attempts to justify the unjustifiable and these people should be ashamed of themselves.

    2 When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army.

    A priest should be preaching peace, love and amity, not war, hate and enmity.

    3 He shall say: “Hear, Israel: Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them.

    Did they once send a delegation to try and work things out peacefully?

    4 For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”

    Why are they the enemy?

    5 The officers shall say to the army: “Has anyone built a new house and not yet begun to live in it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else may begin to live in it.

    6 Has anyone planted a vineyard and not begun to enjoy it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else enjoy it.

    7 Has anyone become pledged to a woman and not married her? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else marry her.”

    8 Then the officers shall add, “Is anyone afraid or fainthearted? Let him go home so that his fellow soldiers will not become disheartened too.”

    9 When the officers have finished speaking to the army, they shall appoint commanders over it.

    Why would anyone go to war if given the chance to opt out?  No officer would do this.

    10 When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace.

    This is a change.  Before it was just put them all to death.  But let’s wait and see what a ‘peace’ offer is first.

    11 If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you.

    Not much of a peace offer.

    12 If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city.

    If you have God fighting with you, why would you need to lay siege to it?  Couldn’t he just make them all march out and leave the country for good?  This is not the LORD fighting for you or with you.  It is you fighting and dying to win something you don’t even deserve and you’re being lied to by the priests.  They are conning you into believing you are invincible when you obviously are not.  If you were, you wouldn’t be being offered to chance to stay with your grapes so you won’t die.

    13 When the LORD your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it.

    Why not take them as slaves?

    14 As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. And you may use the plunder the LORD your God gives you from your enemies.

    Rape the women and make slaves of them all.   Such tenderness and warmth for a defeated enemy.

    15 This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby.

    Cruel and heartless.

    16 However, in the cities of the nations the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance, do not leave alive anything that breathes.

    Yes, be good Christians and kill the children.  After all, it is what your god has been telling you to do isn’t it?

    17 Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the LORD your God has commanded you.

    18 Otherwise, they will teach you to follow all the detestable things they do in worshiping their gods, and you will sin against the LORD your God.

    I’d like to know how a goat is going to teach anyone how to pray to a god.

    19 When you lay siege to a city for a long time, fighting against it to capture it, do not destroy its trees by putting an ax to them, because you can eat their fruit. Do not cut them down. Are the trees people, that you should besiege them?

    That just shows how little regard God has for the value of human life.

    20 However, you may cut down trees that you know are not fruit trees and use them to build siege works until the city at war with you falls.

    Why not use more factual language.  How about saying ‘the city you declared war upon’?  Or is it supposed to ease your conscience by saying it in a manner that sounds like it is the other people’s fault you are at war?  That is, IF you have a conscience.

    << Deuteronomy 19      Index      Deuteronomy 21 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on November 17, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , , , depravity, , , , , , , , , , , , , parents, , , , ,   

    Numbers 31: More laws and crap 

    Numbers: Part 31 of 36
    Vengeance on the Midianites

    1 The LORD said to Moses,

    Bob, it’s party time!  Get your dancing shoes on.  We’re about to boogie…

    2 “Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. After that, you will be gathered to your people.”

    Moses!  Dude!  Run away, run away!

    3 So Moses said to the people, “Arm some of your men to go to war against the Midianites so that they may carry out the LORD’s vengeance on them.

    Why should they die at the end of a sword, spear or knife, just to satisfy the bloodlust of this supposed god?  I’ve asked many times already, why can’t he just blink them out of existence instead of going through this barbaric act over and over?  Does Barbara Eden have more powers than God?  It seems so.  The best he can do is locusts and sprouting staffs.

    4 Send into battle a thousand men from each of the tribes of Israel.”

    5 So twelve thousand men armed for battle, a thousand from each tribe, were supplied from the clans of Israel.

    6 Moses sent them into battle, a thousand from each tribe, along with Phinehas son of Eleazar, the priest, who took with him articles from the sanctuary and the trumpets for signaling.

    7 They fought against Midian, as the LORD commanded Moses, and killed every man.

    Are you imagining what this must have been like?  Don’t hide from it.  Think about this deeply.  This is what ‘God’ wants.

    8 Among their victims were Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba—the five kings of Midian. They also killed Balaam son of Beor with the sword.

    9 The Israelites captured the Midianite women and children and took all the Midianite herds, flocks and goods as plunder.

    10 They burned all the towns where the Midianites had settled, as well as all their camps.

    Destruction for no reason whatsoever.

    11 They took all the plunder and spoils, including the people and animals,

    Theft and slavery.

    12 and brought the captives, spoils and plunder to Moses and Eleazar the priest and the Israelite assembly at their camp on the plains of Moab, by the Jordan across from Jericho.

    13 Moses, Eleazar the priest and all the leaders of the community went to meet them outside the camp.

    14 Moses was angry with the officers of the army—the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds—who returned from the battle.

    I have not read past this point as yet, but I expect that this will be typical of what we’ve come to expect.

    15 “Have you allowed all the women to live?” he asked them.

    Okay, maybe it will be worse.

    16 “They were the ones who followed Balaam’s advice and enticed the Israelites to be unfaithful to the LORD in the Peor incident, so that a plague struck the LORD’s people.

    17 Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man,

    Killing children must make God feel so big and brave.  Every woman who has slept with a man?  All of them?  Why kill the ones who were faithful to their husbands and had not slept with an Israelite?

    18 but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

    Yeah, because rape is just fine by God.  You can’t gather wood on the Sabbath, but you can rape girls.

    19 “Anyone who has killed someone or touched someone who was killed must stay outside the camp seven days. On the third and seventh days you must purify yourselves and your captives.

    20 Purify every garment as well as everything made of leather, goat hair or wood.”

    Of course they’d love to purify the captives.  Thousands of virgin girls running around naked and scared must really get God’s juices flowing.

    21 Then Eleazar the priest said to the soldiers who had gone into battle, “This is what is required by the law that the LORD gave Moses:

    22 Gold, silver, bronze, iron, tin, lead

    23 and anything else that can withstand fire must be put through the fire, and then it will be clean. But it must also be purified with the water of cleansing. And whatever cannot withstand fire must be put through that water.

    Ah yes, the water of cleansing.  The water that was mixed with the ashes of a dead body.  Very cleansing that is.

    24 On the seventh day wash your clothes and you will be clean. Then you may come into the camp.”

    Dividing the Spoils

    25 The LORD said to Moses,

    Pay close attention here Bob.  I’m going to kill you soon and I want this job done right beforehand.

    26 “You and Eleazar the priest and the family heads of the community are to count all the people and animals that were captured.

    27 Divide the spoils equally between the soldiers who took part in the battle and the rest of the community.

    28 From the soldiers who fought in the battle, set apart as tribute for the LORD one out of every five hundred, whether people, cattle, donkeys or sheep.

    What is God going to do with virgin girls I wonder?

    29 Take this tribute from their half share and give it to Eleazar the priest as the LORD’s part.

    Now it makes sense.  It’s Eleazar who wants the girls.

    30 From the Israelites’ half, select one out of every fifty, whether people, cattle, donkeys, sheep or other animals. Give them to the Levites, who are responsible for the care of the LORD’s tabernacle.”

    31 So Moses and Eleazar the priest did as the LORD commanded Moses.

    32 The plunder remaining from the spoils that the soldiers took was 675,000 sheep,

    33 72,000 cattle,

    34 61,000 donkeys

    35 and 32,000 women who had never slept with a man.

    36 The half share of those who fought in the battle was: 337,500 sheep,

    37 of which the tribute for the LORD was 675;

    38 36,000 cattle, of which the tribute for the LORD was 72;

    39 30,500 donkeys, of which the tribute for the LORD was 61;

    40 16,000 people, of whom the tribute for the LORD was 32.

    Eleazar gets 32 virgins?

    41 Moses gave the tribute to Eleazar the priest as the LORD’s part, as the LORD commanded Moses.

    42 The half belonging to the Israelites, which Moses set apart from that of the fighting men—

    43 the community’s half—was 337,500 sheep,

    44 36,000 cattle,

    45 30,500 donkeys

    46 and 16,000 people.

    47 From the Israelites’ half, Moses selected one out of every fifty people and animals, as the LORD commanded him, and gave them to the Levites, who were responsible for the care of the LORD’s tabernacle.

    48 Then the officers who were over the units of the army—the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds—went to Moses

    49 and said to him, “Your servants have counted the soldiers under our command, and not one is missing.

    50 So we have brought as an offering to the LORD the gold articles each of us acquired—armlets, bracelets, signet rings, earrings and necklaces—to make atonement for ourselves before the LORD.”

    51 Moses and Eleazar the priest accepted from them the gold—all the crafted articles.

    52 All the gold from the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds that Moses and Eleazar presented as a gift to the LORD weighed 16,750 shekels.

    53 Each soldier had taken plunder for himself.

    54 Moses and Eleazar the priest accepted the gold from the commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds and brought it into the tent of meeting as a memorial for the Israelites before the LORD.

    I’m truly perplexed as to how any female can follow this outrageously misogynistic religion considering what we’ve just read.  How can they bend the knee and silently give consent to their daughters being treated in this manner.  If religion gets the power it is obviously after, this is the kind of thing we would see happening once again.  Also, how can any people whose ancestors were kept as slaves approve of this book and it’s teachings?  Do they wish themselves and their descendants to go through that again?

    << Numbers 30      Index      Numbers 32 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on November 16, 2010 Permalink
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    Numbers 30: More laws and crap 

    Numbers: Part 30 of 36
    Vows

    1 Moses said to the heads of the tribes of Israel: “This is what the LORD commands:

    2 When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said.

    Unless what he promised was stupid to begin with.  You wouldn’t expect a guy to carry out a promise he made when drunk to run naked through the women’s quarters would you?  You could think of many examples that make this law ridiculous.

    3 “When a young woman still living in her father’s household makes a vow to the LORD or obligates herself by a pledge

    Then she’s a fool.

    4 and her father hears about her vow or pledge but says nothing to her, then all her vows and every pledge by which she obligated herself will stand.

    Even if made under duress or when half asleep or in severe pain?

    5 But if her father forbids her when he hears about it, none of her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand; the LORD will release her because her father has forbidden her.

    Oh yeah, the man’s wishes always override those of the female in this idiotic book don’t they!

    6 “If she marries after she makes a vow or after her lips utter a rash promise by which she obligates herself

    7 and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her, then her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand.

    Even if it’s a rash promise.  Typical!

    8 But if her husband forbids her when he hears about it, he nullifies the vow that obligates her or the rash promise by which she obligates herself, and the LORD will release her.

    And again, stupid misogynistic rubbish.

    9 “Any vow or obligation taken by a widow or divorced woman will be binding on her.

    10 “If a woman living with her husband makes a vow or obligates herself by a pledge under oath

    11 and her husband hears about it but says nothing to her and does not forbid her, then all her vows or the pledges by which she obligated herself will stand.

    12 But if her husband nullifies them when he hears about them, then none of the vows or pledges that came from her lips will stand. Her husband has nullified them, and the LORD will release her.

    13 Her husband may confirm or nullify any vow she makes or any sworn pledge to deny herself.

    Sigh…

    14 But if her husband says nothing to her about it from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or the pledges binding on her. He confirms them by saying nothing to her when he hears about them.

    15 If, however, he nullifies them some time after he hears about them, then he must bear the consequences of her wrongdoing.”

    16 These are the regulations the LORD gave Moses concerning relationships between a man and his wife, and between a father and his young daughter still living at home.

    Yawn…

    << Numbers 29      Index      Numbers 31 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on October 20, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: abduction, , , , , , , , , , , , parents, , , ransom, ,   

    Numbers 3: More laws and crap 

    Numbers: Part 3 of 36

    The Levites

    1 This is the account of the family of Aaron and Moses at the time the LORD talked with Moses on Mount Sinai.

    Will this be a waste of time as most of the bible is, or will there be a point to this waffle?

    2 The names of the sons of Aaron were Nadab the firstborn and Abihu, Eleazar and Ithamar.

    3 Those were the names of Aaron’s sons, the anointed priests, who were ordained to serve as priests.

    4 Nadab and Abihu, however, fell dead before the LORD when they made an offering with unauthorized fire before him in the Desert of Sinai. They had no sons; so only Eleazar and Ithamar served as priests during the lifetime of their father Aaron.

    5 The LORD said to Moses,

    Morning Bob, ready to get to work?

    6 “Bring the tribe of Levi and present them to Aaron the priest to assist him.

    7 They are to perform duties for him and for the whole community at the Tent of Meeting by doing the work of the tabernacle.

    The whole tribe?

    8 They are to take care of all the furnishings of the Tent of Meeting, fulfilling the obligations of the Israelites by doing the work of the tabernacle.

    9 Give the Levites to Aaron and his sons; they are the Israelites who are to be given wholly to him.

    That would imply they are slaves.

    10 Appoint Aaron and his sons to serve as priests; anyone else who approaches the sanctuary must be put to death.”

    That might be preferable to a lot of people instead of having to live in your world of slavery, misery, misogony and death.

    11 The LORD also said to Moses,

    Hey Bob, wazzup dude?

    12 “I have taken the Levites from among the Israelites in place of the first male offspring of every Israelite woman. The Levites are mine,

    13 for all the firstborn are mine. When I struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, I set apart for myself every firstborn in Israel, whether man or animal. They are to be mine. I am the LORD.”

    Greedy bugger.

    14 The LORD said to Moses in the Desert of Sinai,

    Bob, what’s with all the sand dude?  What do you reckon we give brooms to all the Levites?

    15 “Count the Levites by their families and clans. Count every male a month old or more.”

    16 So Moses counted them, as he was commanded by the word of the LORD.

    Genealogy Alert!!!

    17 These were the names of the sons of Levi:
    Gershon, Kohath and Merari.

    18 These were the names of the Gershonite clans:
    Libni and Shimei.

    19 The Kohathite clans:
    Amram, Izhar, Hebron and Uzziel.

    20 The Merarite clans:
    Mahli and Mushi.
    These were the Levite clans, according to their families.

    21 To Gershon belonged the clans of the Libnites and Shimeites; these were the Gershonite clans.

    22 The number of all the males a month old or more who were counted was 7,500.

    23 The Gershonite clans were to camp on the west, behind the tabernacle.

    24 The leader of the families of the Gershonites was Eliasaph son of Lael.

    25 At the Tent of Meeting the Gershonites were responsible for the care of the tabernacle and tent, its coverings, the curtain at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting,

    26 the curtains of the courtyard, the curtain at the entrance to the courtyard surrounding the tabernacle and altar, and the ropes—and everything related to their use.

    Better Homes & Gardens for Sand Dwellers.

    27 To Kohath belonged the clans of the Amramites, Izharites, Hebronites and Uzzielites; these were the Kohathite clans.

    28 The number of all the males a month old or more was 8,600. The Kohathites were responsible for the care of the sanctuary.

    29 The Kohathite clans were to camp on the south side of the tabernacle.

    30 The leader of the families of the Kohathite clans was Elizaphan son of Uzziel.

    31 They were responsible for the care of the ark, the table, the lampstand, the altars, the articles of the sanctuary used in ministering, the curtain, and everything related to their use.

    32 The chief leader of the Levites was Eleazar son of Aaron, the priest. He was appointed over those who were responsible for the care of the sanctuary.

    33 To Merari belonged the clans of the Mahlites and the Mushites; these were the Merarite clans.

    34 The number of all the males a month old or more who were counted was 6,200.

    35 The leader of the families of the Merarite clans was Zuriel son of Abihail; they were to camp on the north side of the tabernacle.

    36 The Merarites were appointed to take care of the frames of the tabernacle, its crossbars, posts, bases, all its equipment, and everything related to their use,

    37 as well as the posts of the surrounding courtyard with their bases, tent pegs and ropes.

    38 Moses and Aaron and his sons were to camp to the east of the tabernacle, toward the sunrise, in front of the Tent of Meeting. They were responsible for the care of the sanctuary on behalf of the Israelites. Anyone else who approached the sanctuary was to be put to death.

    Because you just can’t have a Tabernacle without killing something.

    39 The total number of Levites counted at the LORD’s command by Moses and Aaron according to their clans, including every male a month old or more, was 22,000.

    40 The LORD said to Moses, “Count all the firstborn Israelite males who are a month old or more and make a list of their names.

    41 Take the Levites for me in place of all the firstborn of the Israelites, and the livestock of the Levites in place of all the firstborn of the livestock of the Israelites. I am the LORD.”

    42 So Moses counted all the firstborn of the Israelites, as the LORD commanded him.

    43 The total number of firstborn males a month old or more, listed by name, was 22,273.

    44 The LORD also said to Moses,

    I know, I know, I’m a chatty bugger, but Bob, this is all necessary so shutup and listen.

    45 “Take the Levites in place of all the firstborn of Israel, and the livestock of the Levites in place of their livestock. The Levites are to be mine. I am the LORD.

    46 To redeem the 273 firstborn Israelites who exceed the number of the Levites,

    47 collect five shekels for each one, according to the sanctuary shekel, which weighs twenty gerahs.

    48 Give the money for the redemption of the additional Israelites to Aaron and his sons.”

    49 So Moses collected the redemption money from those who exceeded the number redeemed by the Levites.

    Redemption?  Is that what they called ‘ransom’ back then?

    50 From the firstborn of the Israelites he collected silver weighing 1,365 shekels, according to the sanctuary shekel.

    This is some racket they have going here.

    51 Moses gave the redemption money to Aaron and his sons, as he was commanded by the word of the LORD.

    Ransom, extortion, protection rackets.  This must have been one of the very first instances of organised crime to be recorded.

    << Numbers 2      Index      Numbers 4 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on September 1, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , beastiality, , , , , , , , , , , , , parents, , , ,   

    Exodus 22: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 22 of 40

    Protection of Property

    1 “If a man steals an ox or a sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he must pay back five head of cattle for the ox and four sheep for the sheep.

    God has time to dick around making laws regarding theft of livestock?

    2 “If a thief is caught breaking in and is struck so that he dies, the defender is not guilty of bloodshed;

    Even if it could be proven that death was unnecessary and the thief could have been apprehended without harm?

    3 but if it happens after sunrise, he is guilty of bloodshed.  “A thief must certainly make restitution, but if he has nothing, he must be sold to pay for his theft.

    If it’s dark it’s alright to murder? Selling someone is slavery and wrong at any time and place.

    4 “If the stolen animal is found alive in his possession—whether ox or donkey or sheep—he must pay back double.

    It still makes no sense that a god would bother itself with laws of this kind.

    5 “If a man grazes his livestock in a field or vineyard and lets them stray and they graze in another man’s field, he must make restitution from the best of his own field or vineyard.

    6 “If a fire breaks out and spreads into thornbushes so that it burns shocks of grain or standing grain or the whole field, the one who started the fire must make restitution.

    7 “If a man gives his neighbor silver or goods for safekeeping and they are stolen from the neighbor’s house, the thief, if he is caught, must pay back double.

    8 But if the thief is not found, the owner of the house must appear before the judges to determine whether he has laid his hands on the other man’s property.

    9 In all cases of illegal possession of an ox, a donkey, a sheep, a garment, or any other lost property about which somebody says, ‘This is mine,’ both parties are to bring their cases before the judges. The one whom the judges declare guilty must pay back double to his neighbor.

    10 “If a man gives a donkey, an ox, a sheep or any other animal to his neighbor for safekeeping and it dies or is injured or is taken away while no one is looking,

    11 the issue between them will be settled by the taking of an oath before the LORD that the neighbor did not lay hands on the other person’s property. The owner is to accept this, and no restitution is required.

    Easy way of getting around being a criminal. Just lie.

    12 But if the animal was stolen from the neighbor, he must make restitution to the owner.

    Not if he takes the oath.

    13 If it was torn to pieces by a wild animal, he shall bring in the remains as evidence and he will not be required to pay for the torn animal.

    14 “If a man borrows an animal from his neighbor and it is injured or dies while the owner is not present, he must make restitution.

    Not if he takes the oath.

    15 But if the owner is with the animal, the borrower will not have to pay. If the animal was hired, the money paid for the hire covers the loss.

    Social Responsibility

    16 “If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.

    What? No thought for what the woman might want? Silly me. I should have known better.  This is the bible, of course they don’t care.

    17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.

    Which is?

    18 “Do not allow a sorceress to live.

    Now this is good. God makes laws regarding witches?  Magic is just as mythical as he is so it shouldn’t surprise anyone.  BUT, if there were such things as witches, then God himself must have created them.  Why would he do such a thing? Freakin’ moron.

    19 “Anyone who has sexual relations with an animal must be put to death.

    It might be ‘icky’ and gross, but death? You do love a drop of blood don’t you!!!

    20 “Whoever sacrifices to any god other than the LORD must be destroyed.

    How can they if you are the only god? You contradict yourself.  Gotta say it.  MORON!!

    21 “Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt.

    It never bothered you to mistreat anyone or have your people mistreat others before.

    22 “Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan.

    Cool, I like this one.

    23 If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.

    But will you do anything about it?  It seems not or there wouldn’t be so many orphan kids being raped by your guys in frocks.

    24 My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.

    You don’t use swords. You get others to use them. Also, if it’s not good to take advantage of widows and orphans, why are you so in favour of creating them yourself?

    25 “If you lend money to one of my people among you who is needy, do not be like a moneylender; charge him no interest.

    Show me where that guy is and I’ll go borrow money off him.  :)

    26 If you take your neighbor’s cloak as a pledge, return it to him by sunset,

    What if he hasn’t fulfilled his pledge by that time?

    27 because his cloak is the only covering he has for his body. What else will he sleep in? When he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate.

    So anyone that gives a cloak as a pledge mustn’t have any other clothes? Is this also some kind of law?  What happens if he does have other clothes and tries to give his cloak as a pledge?  Will he be unable to do so?  Oh, compassionate? You? It was compassionate to kill all those Egyptians by drowning them was it?

    28 “Do not blaspheme God or curse the ruler of your people.

    Or what?  Screw you and screw all our leaders.  Waiting…

    29 “Do not hold back offerings from your granaries or your vats. “You must give me the firstborn of your sons.

    Done!  He’s yours.

    30 Do the same with your cattle and your sheep. Let them stay with their mothers for seven days, but give them to me on the eighth day.

    For what?  You do sheep?

    31 “You are to be my holy people. So do not eat the meat of an animal torn by wild beasts; throw it to the dogs.

    Bugger, no road kill either I suppose.

    << Exodus 21      Index       Exodus 23 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 21, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , parents,   

    Exodus 11: The Flight from Egypt 

    Exodus: Part 11 of 40

    The Plague on the Firstborn

    1 Now the LORD had said to Moses, “I will bring one more plague on Pharaoh and on Egypt. After that, he will let you go from here, and when he does, he will drive you out completely.

    2 Tell the people that men and women alike are to ask their neighbors for articles of silver and gold.”

    3 (The LORD made the Egyptians favorably disposed toward the people, and Moses himself was highly regarded in Egypt by Pharaoh’s officials and by the people.)

    Having God make you disposed towards someone means nothing.  Doing it because they are good people has merit.

    4 So Moses said, “This is what the LORD says: ‘About midnight I will go throughout Egypt.

    5 Every firstborn son in Egypt will die, from the firstborn son of Pharaoh, who sits on the throne, to the firstborn son of the slave girl, who is at her hand mill, and all the firstborn of the cattle as well.

    WTF?  What is the need for so much death?  Killing babies?  Get a grip people, this is the lowest form of life you could possibly think of, now or then.  And what the hell did the cattle do to deserve this treatment?

    6 There will be loud wailing throughout Egypt—worse than there has ever been or ever will be again.

    There wasn’t enough people in the land at that time to overcome what the Catholic Church did in Europe or the Nazis during the Second World War, so this is not true either.

    7 But among the Israelites not a dog will bark at any man or animal.’ Then you will know that the LORD makes a distinction between Egypt and Israel.

    For what reason?

    8 All these officials of yours will come to me, bowing down before me and saying, ‘Go, you and all the people who follow you!’ After that I will leave.” Then Moses, hot with anger, left Pharaoh.

    Anger?  What right does Moses have to be angry with Pharaoh?  Moses of all people should know that it wasn’t Pharaoh’s fault.

    9 The LORD had said to Moses, “Pharaoh will refuse to listen to you—so that my wonders may be multiplied in Egypt.”

    10 Moses and Aaron performed all these wonders before Pharaoh, but the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he would not let the Israelites go out of his country.

    Facepalm!!

    << Exodus 10      Index       Exodus 12 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , fratricide, , , , , , , , , , parents, , , , , ,   

    Genesis: The Post Mortem 

    Genesis: What was it all about?

    Well, that’s the end of Genesis.  It’s been a long boring ride and frankly I’m glad it’s over.  Firstly, let’s list a few of the things we’ve seen:

    Lies, Polygamy, Murder, Genocide, Rape, Incest, Slavery, Adultery, Conspiracy, Favoritism, Misogyny and Prostitution.

    What purports to be the ‘Good Book’ starts off by telling us a whole range of ridiculous rubbish about how the universe began, then goes on to throw the above ‘virtuous’ traits at us page after page.  I have no idea how this could be thought to be a book of morals and ethics unless you call it the book of ‘What Not To Do’.

    The endless genealogical passages have nothing to do with the story.  Not once does it really put a positive spin on anything.

    To go on and on about naming things everytime they stop their camels does nothing to impress me in any way whatsoever.  Then of course there is the ridiculous renaming of people as in the case of Jacob/Israel which then goes on to use both names either on their own or together which just confuses an already confusing piece of literary garbage.

    If this book is supposed to be the inerrant word of God, then it just shows that he was only teaching them to be nice to their own people and not to anybody else.  All outsiders were only to be used up and then killed if they got in the way.  Rape is excused if the rapist wants to then marry the girl he attacked. Murder is also fine if you still don’t like the rapist.  Further in we have attempted fratricide, (killing of a brother) which turned into selling him into slavery.  He then is accused of attempted rape and thrown into jail.  He then gets out of jail by doing what he says only God can do.

    To finish, the creation rubbish is just that.  The rest is just begatting and petty jealousies ending in betrayal, theft and murder.

    All in all, Genesis is nothing but a pile of lies, coated with immoral behaviour by a group of unethical people.  This wouldn’t even make it to television as a D Grade Soapie.

    Let’s hope for better reading in Exodus, up next…

    << Genesis 50       Exodus 1 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 7, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , parents,   

    Genesis 48: Did anyone hear what God said? 

    Genesis: Part 48 of 50

    Manasseh and Ephraim

    1 Some time later Joseph was told, “Your father is ill.” So he took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim along with him.

    2 When Jacob was told, “Your son Joseph has come to you,” Israel rallied his strength and sat up on the bed.

    He changed his name!!!  Stop calling him Jacob!!!

    3 Jacob said to Joseph, “God Almighty appeared to me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and there he blessed me

    Now if Joseph hadn’t been hearing voices himself he would have just thought his father was losing his marbles.  This just means they were both losing their marbles and that it was probably a genetic defect.

    4 and said to me, ‘I am going to make you fruitful and will increase your numbers. I will make you a community of peoples, and I will give this land as an everlasting possession to your descendants after you.’

    5 “Now then, your two sons born to you in Egypt before I came to you here will be reckoned as mine; Ephraim and Manasseh will be mine, just as Reuben and Simeon are mine.

    6 Any children born to you after them will be yours; in the territory they inherit they will be reckoned under the names of their brothers.

    7 As I was returning from Paddan, to my sorrow Rachel died in the land of Canaan while we were still on the way, a little distance from Ephrath. So I buried her there beside the road to Ephrath” (that is, Bethlehem).

    8 When Israel saw the sons of Joseph, he asked, “Who are these?”

    9 “They are the sons God has given me here,” Joseph said to his father.
    Then Israel said, “Bring them to me so I may bless them.”

    Bless them?  What is this blessing them business?  Do they wave their hands about and do the hokey pokey?  Is that what it’s all about?

    10 Now Israel’s eyes were failing because of old age, and he could hardly see. So Joseph brought his sons close to him, and his father kissed them and embraced them.

    11 Israel said to Joseph, “I never expected to see your face again, and now God has allowed me to see your children too.”

    12 Then Joseph removed them from Israel’s knees and bowed down with his face to the ground.

    13 And Joseph took both of them, Ephraim on his right toward Israel’s left hand and Manasseh on his left toward Israel’s right hand, and brought them close to him.

    14 But Israel reached out his right hand and put it on Ephraim’s head, though he was the younger, and crossing his arms, he put his left hand on Manasseh’s head, even though Manasseh was the firstborn.

    15 Then he blessed Joseph and said, “May the God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked, the God who has been my shepherd all my life to this day,

    16 the Angel who has delivered me from all harm —may he bless these boys. May they be called by my name and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and may they increase greatly upon the earth.”

    17 When Joseph saw his father placing his right hand on Ephraim’s head he was displeased; so he took hold of his father’s hand to move it from Ephraim’s head to Manasseh’s head.

    18 Joseph said to him, “No, my father, this one is the firstborn; put your right hand on his head.”

    19 But his father refused and said, “I know, my son, I know. He too will become a people, and he too will become great. Nevertheless, his younger brother will be greater than he, and his descendants will become a group of nations.”

    Here we are with the fortune telling again.

    20 He blessed them that day and said, “In your name will Israel pronounce this blessing: ‘May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh.’ ”
    So he put Ephraim ahead of Manasseh.

    21 Then Israel said to Joseph, “I am about to die, but God will be with you and take you back to the land of your fathers.

    22 And to you, as one who is over your brothers, I give the ridge of land I took from the Amorites with my sword and my bow.”

    Or to put it more accurately, he gave him the land he stole after killing innocent people.  Touching isn’t it.  :)

    << Genesis 47      Index      Genesis 49 >>

     

  • DistroMan 20:00 on August 5, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , , , , , , , , , , parents, racism,   

    Genesis 46: Did anyone hear what God said? 

    Genesis: Part 46 of 50

    Jacob Goes to Egypt

    1 So Israel set out with all that was his, and when he reached Beersheba, he offered sacrifices to the God of his father Isaac.

    2 And God spoke to Israel in a vision at night and said, “Jacob! Jacob!”
    “Here I am,” he replied.

    Help me Lord, for I am hearing voices.  Oh, it’s only you.  Sorry Lord.  :)

    3 “I am God, the God of your father,” he said. “Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you into a great nation there.

    4 I will go down to Egypt with you, and I will surely bring you back again. And Joseph’s own hand will close your eyes.”

    Being omniscient, how could he not go with him?  It’s not like he has a choice.

    5 Then Jacob left Beersheba, and Israel’s sons took their father Jacob and their children and their wives in the carts that Pharaoh had sent to transport him.

    Oh for shit’s sake.  Stop this idiotic Jacob/Israel thing.  Using both in one sentence is absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary.  And freaking annoying!!!

    6 They also took with them their livestock and the possessions they had acquired in Canaan, and Jacob and all his offspring went to Egypt.

    The Pharoah said for them not to bring their belongings for he would provide for them.  This would be an insult.

    7 He took with him to Egypt his sons and grandsons and his daughters and granddaughters—all his offspring.

    8 These are the names of the sons of Israel (Jacob and his descendants) who went to Egypt: Reuben the firstborn of Jacob.

    Oh shit no.  Not again.  Genealogy alert!!!!

    9 The sons of Reuben: Hanoch, Pallu, Hezron and Carmi.

    10 The sons of Simeon: Jemuel, Jamin, Ohad, Jakin, Zohar and Shaul the son of a Canaanite woman.

    11 The sons of Levi: Gershon, Kohath and Merari.

    12 The sons of Judah: Er, Onan, Shelah, Perez and Zerah (but Er and Onan had died in the land of Canaan).
    The sons of Perez: Hezron and Hamul.

    13 The sons of Issachar: Tola, Puah, Jashub and Shimron.

    14 The sons of Zebulun: Sered, Elon and Jahleel.

    15 These were the sons Leah bore to Jacob in Paddan Aram, besides his daughter Dinah. These sons and daughters of his were thirty-three in all.

    16 The sons of Gad: Zephon, Haggi, Shuni, Ezbon, Eri, Arodi and Areli.

    17 The sons of Asher: Imnah, Ishvah, Ishvi and Beriah. Their sister was Serah.
    The sons of Beriah: Heber and Malkiel.

    18 These were the children born to Jacob by Zilpah, whom Laban had given to his daughter Leah—sixteen in all.

    19 The sons of Jacob’s wife Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin.

    20 In Egypt, Manasseh and Ephraim were born to Joseph by Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On.

    21 The sons of Benjamin: Bela, Beker, Ashbel, Gera, Naaman, Ehi, Rosh, Muppim, Huppim and Ard.

    22 These were the sons of Rachel who were born to Jacob—fourteen in all.

    23 The son of Dan: Hushim.

    24 The sons of Naphtali: Jahziel, Guni, Jezer and Shillem.

    25 These were the sons born to Jacob by Bilhah, whom Laban had given to his daughter Rachel—seven in all.

    26 All those who went to Egypt with Jacob—those who were his direct descendants, not counting his sons’ wives—numbered sixty-six persons.

    27 With the two sons who had been born to Joseph in Egypt, the members of Jacob’s family, which went to Egypt, were seventy in all.

    28 Now Jacob sent Judah ahead of him to Joseph to get directions to Goshen. When they arrived in the region of Goshen,

    Here is yet another stupidity.  The sons had already done this trip back and forth twice.  They didn’t need to ask directions.

    29 Joseph had his chariot made ready and went to Goshen to meet his father Israel. As soon as Joseph appeared before him, he threw his arms around his father and wept for a long time.

    30 Israel said to Joseph, “Now I am ready to die, since I have seen for myself that you are still alive.”

    31 Then Joseph said to his brothers and to his father’s household, “I will go up and speak to Pharaoh and will say to him, ‘My brothers and my father’s household, who were living in the land of Canaan, have come to me.

    32 The men are shepherds; they tend livestock, and they have brought along their flocks and herds and everything they own.’

    33 When Pharaoh calls you in and asks, ‘What is your occupation?’

    34 you should answer, ‘Your servants have tended livestock from our boyhood on, just as our fathers did.’ Then you will be allowed to settle in the region of Goshen, for all shepherds are detestable to the Egyptians.”

    What a load of crap.  Egyptians had been herding animals for a long time before Joseph ever set foot on Egyptian sand/soil.  It may be that shepherding was not a respectable occupation, but Egyptians were shepherds as well.  Again, moronic bullshit.

    << Genesis 45      Index      Genesis 47 >>

     

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